Amazing Cliches
by rainbowstrike
Summary: This parodies the many over-used fanfiction topics that I've seen around here. Stupid, random, & OOC in a good way :D. Hopefully I can give you a good laugh. Rated T because I dunno what will pop out of my mind at times. Chapter 35; A/N Chapter of doom
1. Fear the MarySue in all her glory!

**A/N;  
Welcome to the first amazing chapter of my amazing story; 'Amazing clichés'. Amazing, huh?**

**Now, I find this chapter amusing because I have two OC stories. I like OC stories, but only if they're well-written and not Mary-Sue. I try very hard to keep those guidelines when I write 'Forgetmenot' and 'Caged'. Let me know if I don't. **

**Anyway, on with the story. Suggest over-used fanfic subjects if you want, and I'll parody them. **

**Iggy: Rain owns nothing.**

**Rain: You're getting really good at that! You could consider a career as a disclaimer-er. **

**Iggy: Oh, it's my life's ambition. **

**Rain: Geez Ig, get a new dream. Gosh. **

**Iggy: It was sarcasm. **

**Rain: I know...**

**Iggy: -face palms-**

Max and the flock were just flying around, you know, flying.

"I'm bored." Said Nudge, and everyone waited for the stream of words that would follow. Nudge clamped her mouth shut and said no more. Surely this was a sign of an apocalypse! Well, that might not be too far off the mark, because...

At that moment, Fang spotted a herd of flying Flyboys!

"Oh my gosh!! MAX! Look at the Flyboys!!!!!!" he cried. Total screamed like a little girl. Max immediately took charge, shouting 'AARRRGGGHHHHHH' and charging into the mob of Flyboys. The flock shrugged, and took off after her. Total screamed like a little girl yet again.

They fought the gazillion flyboys until Max suddenly got hit. She was unconscious as the rest of the flock watched her fall. Then, suddenly, something shot towards her and caught her right before she suffered a death that would result in her looking like a pancake with strawberry jam.

The flock flew down to see who this mysterious saviour could be. All their eyes simultaneously widened as they caught sight of her. She was incredibly beautiful, with long golden locks that reached her ankles, and sparkling blue eyes that seemed to shine when the sun hit them. She had olive skin and ABSOLUTELY NO blemishes whatsoever. She was wearing bloodied up clothes, but otherwise she was _perfect_. Fang and Iggy promptly fell in love with her, even though Iggy couldn't see. But she was so perfect that she sent out perfect vibes to everyone she came across.

"Oh my god. What's your name?" Iggy asked, gaping at her. The beautiful girl smiled, and Fang fainted into Iggy's arms.

"My name is Beauty-And-Perfection-With-A-Dark-And-Emo-Past. But you can call me Mary-Sue." She said, her voice like angel's choirs.

"What a beautiful name." Fang stammered weakly. Max chose this moment to wake up.

"Oh my gosh! Wait, why aren't I dead?" she asked, dazed and confused. "Oh, you must have saved me. Thanks a bunch!!!!!!!" Mary-Sue smiled down at her, and this time Iggy fainted. Her beautiful smile vibes reached him too. Max flapped her wings when she left Mary-Sue's arms, miraculously healed and able to fly again.

"Where do you come from? And how do you have wings?" Gazzy asked. Tears suddenly filled Mary-Sue's beautiful eyes.

"I... it's too painful to talk about. But I'll eventually tell you anyway. Even though it will cause me great pain. I was at the school like you, but Jeb didn't like me enough to take me with you. I'M SO UNLOVED!!!" Mary-Sue wailed. Iggy and Fang shot towards her, enveloping her in a warm hug.

"That's alright. You should stay with us!" Fang shouted.

"Okay." Mary-Sue giggled happily. Max's eye twitched as she glared daggers at Fang.

_Later that night..._

"Are you _sure _you want her to stay with us?" Max asked, obviously jealous of Mary-Sue's amazing beauty and powers and perfect-ness. Mary-Sue just scoffed and flipped her hair at her.

"Yes! She's so wonderful and funny and amazing and we totally love her already!" Nudge squealed.

"And she's not thinking any evil thoughts. They're pure goodness!" Angel agreed. "We can definitely trust her!"

"I think she's hot." Iggy and Fang said at the same time. "And I can't even see her." Iggy added as an afterthought.

"Thanks guys." Mary-Sue giggled and blew them a kiss. Fang fainted.

"Gazzy?" Max tried pleadingly.

"She's way cool! She knows how to make bombs, and she's dark and mysterious like Fang, and she talks with Nudge, and she's nice to Angel and she's basically incredible! We need her in our flock!"

"Yeah!" the others chorused. Max bit back a stream of profanities. Stupid flock and stupid Beauty-And-Perfection-With-A-Dark-And-Emo-Past! Gah!

"So, do you want to stay?" Iggy asked. Mary-Sue smiled sweetly at him.

"Of course. I love you all so much already!!!!" she cried.

"Group hug!" screamed Angel, and they all hugged. Total licked Mary-Sue's hand.

"Aw you're so cute!" Mary-Sue squealed. But it sounded cool when Mary-Sue squealed. Because she was so awesome and perfect and cool.

"So... what's your power?" Nudge asked.

"I can do _absolutely anything_. I bet if I wanted to blow up the world, I totally could." Mary-Sue boasted, but then she sighed dramatically. "But I don't want that power. I just want to be NORMAL! WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME!?!!?!!??!!?!?!??!!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?"

"Aw, it's okay. We don't hate you!" Gazzy said, patting her shoulder sympathetically.

"Thanks Gazzy." Mary-Sue hugged him tightly, and Fang and Iggy were jealous. Of course.

"I have something to tell you all... I am just so overwhelmed with emotion that you've accepted me!" Mary-Sue laughed, and Iggy and Fang sighed contentedly.

"Hey, Mary-Sue. You look a lot like Max." Nudge commented. Mary-Sue looked terrified for a second.

"I... I'm..." Mary-Sue sighed sadly. "I really didn't want to have to tell you all this... but... I'm Max's sister." Max stared at her in shock.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" she asked in confusion. "I have a sister? YOU?" Bee nodded. Max suddenly smiled. How could she hate her own sister?

"OMIGOSH SISTER DEAR!" she squealed (it didn't sound as cool as when Mary-Sue did it) and ran over to hug her. Mary-Sue laughed again, but then suddenly she fell over. Max checked for a pulse.

"She... she's... she's dead!!!!!" Max wailed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screeched Iggy and Fang.

Max checked her neck. "Expiration date. Oh well." She chucked as she chucked Beauty-And-Perfection-With-A-Dark-And-Emo-Past's body over a conveniently placed nearby cliff.

"But she was your sister." Angel said sadly. Max shrugged.

"Oh well." She repeated.

"But we just met her-"

"Oh well."

"And she was so nice-"

"Oh. Well."

"And she saved your life-"

"OH F#*ING WELL!!!!" Max shouted. No one said anything. "Now who's up for some smores?" Max magically produced some smores and everyone immediately forgot about Beauty-And-Perfection-With-A-Dark-And-Emo-Past and her tragic death.

Because after all, she was only a Mary Sue.

**A/N;  
Yeah, it was a weird and a little stupid chapter, but whatever. I was sorta just making it up as I went along. Suggest stuff you want to see in later chapters, fanfics you see a lot of. I know what I'm doing next chapter, but I still want ideas!  
Thanks a ton!**

**Iggy: I'm not that sexist. **

**Rain: Ignore him. **

**Iggy: Oh thanks. **

**Rain: ily Iggy! -hugs-**

**Rain: -rolls eyes-**


	2. When bad grammar attacks

**A/N;**

**Now, the subject I'm basing this chapter on **_**really**_** ticks me off. It's like, if you're gonna submit a story, at least make sure everything's got proper punctuation and grammar! Yeesh!  
Anyway, mini-mini-rant over. **

**Maybe this should be a crossover. Or at least just this chapter. Whatever, just deal with it for one chapter. **

**Iggy: Let the people write how they want!**

**Rain: I am! This is simply an opinion. And you don't have to look at it! It's annoying!**

**Iggy: One of the virtually non-existent perks of being blind. -rolls eyes-**

**Rain: So yeah, I don't mean to offend anyone by writing any of these parodies. I forgot to mention that in the last chapter. Anyway, R & R?**

**Iggy: And she still doesn't own anything. **

**Rain: Oh, and one more thing, I've created a blog to keep everyone updated with fanfiction updates. **

**Iggy: If they bother going to read it. **

**Rain: -ignores Iggy- Oh! And another thing- this is ALL VERY EXAGGERATED! **

**Iggy: Never would've guessed.**

Max and the Flock were flying around, their past encounter with Mary-Sue already forgotten. Fang was even pining after Max again. Max felt special.

Anyway, so that particular day, there was a _huge _storm! I'm talking huge! Huge like a steroid-taking-body-builder's biceps.  
"We have to get out of the storm!" Iggy shouted, and then a random flying branch hit him in the head. Luckily, Angel caught him. It seemed she'd developed _another_ power. Super-strength. She held onto him by one ankle as they flew. No one bothered to ask why the six, *ahem*, _seven_ year old was carrying around the blind kid as if he weighed _nothing_. They just shrugged it off; Angel was weird that way.

"Iggy's right," she said thoughtfully, "Or else we'll probably get killed. Come on guys!"

"No!" Max screamed. "I'm the leader! I say when we leave the storm!" Everyone was silent for a second. She smiled. "Okay, let's get out of this storm." They all angled their wings downward, ready to make an emergency landing, when _ZZZZZPPPPTTT!_ A giant bolt of lightning randomly came out of the sky and zapped them all!

"Ahhh!" They all screamed. Iggy woke up as Angel let go of his ankle. "Ahhh!" he screamed, a few moments later than everyone else. They all dropped out of the sky, but did not die. They landed perfectly upright.

"hey mayb we r part cat 2." Fang said.

"tht was lame!" Gazzy shrieked, and punched him.

"y r u spekin like dat ohmigosh im doin it 2 y cant i speek propererly n-emore?" Nudge asked, horror in her tone.

"guys nok it of plzzz." Angel pleaded. "o no lissen 2 my!" All of the flock began to scream again, but it came out more like;

"o noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr we sound so dum!"

And that they did. Somehow, the flock had lost their ability to use correct punctuation, pronunciation and also, weirdly, spelling when they talked! Oh the horror!

"o max how we gun fix dis?" Iggy asked sadly. "no gurls will wun b wif me if i tlk liek dis!" Max promptly punched him.

"sexist peg." She muttered.

"i r not a peg!" Iggy protested.

"stfu!" Max screamed.

"o no we r jus getin worse!" Nudge wailed. "were abreviatin!"

"lol." Gazzy said for no reason whatsoever.

"omg." Angel chimed in.

"rofl." Iggy laughed.

"ur not evin rolin on teh flor laffin." Fang said, putting his hands on his hips.

"its a expressen fang!" Iggy rolled his eyes.

"guys dis is uselis!" Max said, taking charge in her leaderly way. 'Cause she was the leader and stuff. "we need to fix dis liek rite nao!"

"but how max?" Gazzy asked, looking horrified.

"i hav a plan cuzz im teh leder dah we r goin to forks cuzz carlisle cullen will help us!" she said in a 'duh' tone.

"yer carlisle cullen is soooooooo smert." Angel agreed. "he r gun fix us fo shure."

"wewt!" the flock high-fived and took off into the air.

_In Forks..._

Max boldly walked up to the vegetarian vampires house. Because she was courageous. Because she was the _leader_. Duh. No one bothered to ask how she knew where the Cullen house was. Normal people would get lost, but not Max. Because she was the _leader_.

Alice, of course, flung open the door a second before Max could knock, and knocked her backwards. The door came off its hinges and went flying.

"My door!" Esme screeched, pushing past Alice and sprinting after it.

"Hi guys! It's me, Alice Cullen! I saw you coming in a vision, and so I'm here to take you to Carlisle! He'll fix you right up!" Alice zipped behind the speechless flock and pushed them all up the stairs in one fluid motion. They passed Edward and Bella, who were making out on the couch. Max staggered after them, because she had been hit with the door before, remember? Anyway.

"help us carlisle!" Max cried as she finally made it to Carlisle's office, where he was already in an in-depth discussion with Fang. "IM THE LEDER!" Max screamed, pushing Fang out of the way and smiling at Carlisle.

"Hello, Max." Carlisle said politely. "I understand you need my help."

"yer we totaly do cuzz we got hit by litening and nao we onli tlk liek dis its soooooo annoyin carlisle help us!" Max explained dramatically. Carlisle nodded his head in a doctor-ly way.

"Yes, I do believe I can be of assistance to you." He said. And then he grabbed a giant wooden bat and whacked them all over the head at the same time.

"Nice!" Emmett shouted, suddenly appearing in a puff of pink smoke and high-fiving Carlisle.

"Fo shiz!" Carlisle shouted back. Emmett disappeared, presumably to go find Rosalie.

"What do we do with them?" Alice asked. Carlisle shrugged.

"I don't know! I'M JUST ONE MAN! I ALREADY CURED THEM OF THEIR SPEECH PROBLEM, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT WITH ME!?!?!" he sobbed dramatically. Alice shrugged and chucked them out the window.

"Give me their blood!" Jasper shouted (because he hadn't been mentioned in this chapter at all and was feeling very left out) and tried to eat them. But Alice whacked his nose with a newspaper.

"Bad Jasper!" she scolded.

_One giant headache later..._

"Ow... my poor head..." Max said dizzily. She looked around at her flock. "Oi! Wake up you lazy mutants!" she cried.

"Bite me!" Iggy growled. Max thumped him.

"Hey, we're talking properly again!" Angel realised. Because she was a smart, albeit freaky, cookie.

"Yay!" they all shouted.

And that's the story of how the Flock forgot how to speak properly for a few hours.  
The end.

**A/N;**

**That was stupider than I intended it to be. Haha. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Check out my blog (link in my profile) for updates. I'll try and get it updated regularly. -smiles- **

**Oh! Also! I had an idea while writing this chapter! I was thinking of expanding the one-shot I was gonna write about Total taking over Fang's blog. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go read 'the Lists'). I think I'm gonna do an entire story called 'Total takes over' where he repeatedly steals and hacks Fang's blog. Because Total needs some love, there's like no stories about Total. **

**Anyway, R & R!**


	3. Max's secret love child

**A/N; I feel like I've been neglecting my stories lately. Sorry, but I've been swamped. So I'm hoping to get them all updated within the next week. Maybe a few times each, I dunno. Like I said- busy. I'm feeling pretty random today, so out of my mind jumps the next chapter of 'Amazing Clichés'. **

**Now, I've read a few stories like this and some are quite good, and I would just like to point out that I'm just making a parody of them because I have seen so many around. I don't mean to offend anyone in any way, as mentioned in the previous chapter.**

**Iggy: And she owns nothing. **

**Rain: Yeah, that too. **

**R & R & Leave suggestions!**

Max was in quite a pickle. She stared at the pregnancy test she had miraculously found that morning and frowned. This simply could not be! But alas, the little test clearly stated that she, Maximum Ride, was pregnant. And who could the father be? Well, who else but Fang? How was she to tell- WAIT! How had she even gotten pregnant in the first place? Well, seeing as this fanfic is rated T and certain things shall not be mentioned within this chapter, we'll just say that she and Fang had made a baby through the power of love and all that gooey junk.

Moving on.

Obviously, for reasons that were not exactly clear to her yet, Max decided that the flock would definitely hate her if she had a baby and would probably throw it off a cliff after it was born. Also, Fang would cry if he found out he was a daddy. Because, y'know, Fang would totally do that. And stuff.

This in mind, Max decided that she had to LEAVE THE FLOCK and lead a NORMAL LIFE with her SECRET LOVE CHILD because the flock would NEVER ACCEPT HER. And WHATEVER.

"I have to leave," Max whispered quietly to herself as she prepared to take flight, "Because I want to become a real mommy. A real mommy!" with that and tears streaking down her face, Max took a running leap into the air and began to soar away.

--

Fang awoke with a start, his eyes immediately searching for Max. He couldn't see her anywhere- he searched high and low; under rocks, in tree-trunks, inside his backpack, but he couldn't find her!

"MAX!" Wailed Fang, distraught at the loss of his one true love.

"SHUT UP!" Angel hurled a rock at Fang's head and it collided. Fang dropped like a log and didn't wake up 'till morning.

--

_Six years later_

Max held her weeping child close as she flew, running away from resurrected Erasers or something of that sort.

"It will be okay, Faxidgeanotalzy." (A/N; Fang, Max, Iggy, Nudge, Angel, Total, Gazzy.) She had named her daughter after her beloved flock, for she missed them so and her heart bled every day because she missed them and etcetera. Well, of course her heart bled. It had been pumping blood since the day she was born. But Max liked to dramatise things since she became a single Mom. She never noticed it much.

Faxidgeanotalzy looked up at her Mommy and sobbed again, tears falling from her black eyes. Max always told Faxidgeanotalzy that her eyes reminded her of her father, who had died in a tragic plane crash when she was a small baby.

"Where are we going, Mommy?" Faxidgeanotalzy asked softly. She could fly too, duh, but Max was a lioness-Mommy and wouldn't let her baby fly when Erasers were chasing them. 'Cause she might die, and in Max's opinion that would totally suck.

"We're going to unknowingly meet up with my secret flock, where you'll unknowingly meet your dad and we'll unintentionally become one big happy family, perhaps after the school manages to capture you and me and your father and the flock must all band together to save the day." Max said brightly. But then she coughed, and corrected herself. "I mean, uh, I really don't know, sweetheart. Somewhere safe, I promise." Faxidgeanotalzy nodded and closed her eyes, believing her beloved Mommy with every fibre in her 6 year old being.

--

Fang scowled at Iggy, who scowled in Fang's general direction.

"Jackass!" Iggy screamed. "You're such an emo cry baby! Get over it! It's been six years! Max is gone! We can't bring her back! So stop sulking, you loser!" Fang rolled his eyes and ignored Iggy, like he ignored everyone else all the time. Fang had turned emo right after they discovered Max's note. He'd reduced to purposely flying into trees after the flock took away all of his pointy things. It was a sad existence, but Fang promised himself he had to keep living, because otherwise he might never find Max, who was still out there! He knew it! And-

"HEY!" he yelled, the first words he'd spoken since Max's strange disappearance.

"Mommy!" shrieked a little girl's voice.

"Oh no! Faxidgeanotalzy!" Fang looked up. He knew that voice... he loved that voice...

"Max?" he asked, but she was already speeding after whatever she had dropped. "OH MY GOD MAX!" he swooped after her, and so did the rest of the flock. Max was cradling something in her arms as she flew back up to meet them.

"It's... it's really you..." Fang said, hovering closer and reaching out his hand. "But, how...? Why...?" Suddenly, he noticed the thing in Max's eyes was actually a little girl. "Holy crap!"

"LANGUAGE!" Max yelled, and smacked him.

"You- kid- flock- me- whuaaaaa?" Fang stammered.

"What the hell is going on?" Gazzy demanded.

"Yeah!" The flock chorused.

"Yeah!" Fang added, a few seconds too late.

"Um... well... you see... IhadasecretlovechildwithfangthroughthepowerofloveandiknewyouguyswouldhatemeandkickmeoutbecauseiwashavingababythatobviouslywasnotallowedandiwasonlyateenagerandiwassoscaredsoiranawayandnowihavealittlegirlcalledFaxidgeanotalzyandiloveherandfangshesyourbabyiknowimentionedthatearlierbutwhocaresyou'readadisntthatcool?" Max said in a rush.  
(I had a secret love child with Fang through the power of love and I knew you guys would hate me and kick me out because I was having a baby that obviously was not allowed and I was only a teenager and I was so scared so I ran away and now I have a little girl called Faxidgeanotalzy and I love her and Fang, she's your baby. I know I mentioned that earlier but who cared? You're a Dad isn't that cool?)

"What?" Fang asked, his eyes bugging out of his head, quite comically.

"You had a kid? Max! Way to promote teenage pregnancy!" Angel shrieked. "How irresponsible of you!"

"I'm sorry." Max said tearfully.

"That's okay. We still love you!" Nudge promised.

"Hey... what the hell is going on?" suddenly the little girl in Max's arms woke up. "Mommy?"

"Watch your mouth, dear." Max said, smoothing out her daughter's hair. Fang was still frozen, not moving.

"Who are these guys?" the girl asked, turning and smiling brightly at them. "I'm Faxidgeanotalzy, but you can call me Fax."

"Hi Fax! I'm Nudge, your Mom's 'little sister' and this is Angel and Gazzy and Iggy and Total and Fang, who's not moving. Welcome to the flock!" Nudge said. They all cheered, and Max smiled. She was accepted again.

Well, maybe she didn't have to run away after all. Why would the Flock hate her anyway? So what if she was gonna have a baby? And Fang loved her; it wasn't as if he was afraid of commitment or anything, so why had she run away again...? Oh well.

"Cool!" Fax grinned. "Mommy, can I fly now?"

"Uhuh." Max said distractedly, chucking Fax into the air while she flew towards Fang.

"Fang... I... Fax is your baby..." she repeated softly. Fax looked into her eyes.

"Why did you run away..?" he asked, a hurt expression on his features. Max sighed.

"Because I'm an idiot. Kisses now?" she asked. Fang shrugged and began to kiss his long-lost-lover.

"So Fang's my Dad?" Fax asked, her eyes on the two bird people making out. "Ew. They're kissing."

"I'm still wondering why Max isn't telling you this herself." Iggy sighed. "Oh well, looks like I'll be looking after you from now on, seeing as your Mom's in a permanent lip-lock with the Fangster." Fax hugged Iggy tightly.

"I love you new Daddy!" she grinned, and Iggy patted her head.

"You can have her!" Max called, her words muffled slightly.

And thus, another happy ending for the flock that Max deserted with no consequences whatsoever.

**A/N;**

**Random ending. Random entire chapter, really. I dunno. Tell me what you think, and suggest other clichés I can make fun of. :D **

**~Rain!**


	4. Badass Max

**A/N; **

**Well, I was gonna update 'Forgetmenot', but then I was like 'eh' and decided to update this instead. I'm doing a parody of this on a suggestion from 'feathers189'. I can soooooo work with that idea! Thanks! **

**I own nothing! **

**Iggy: Okay, just go right ahead and steal my line.**

**Rain: I didn't realise you'd become so attached. **

**Iggy: Well, it's something to do. **

**Rain: Okay, I take it back. Iggy?**

**Iggy: Rain owns nothing. **

**Rain: Good boy. Hehe! R & R-izzle, and get a speckled pumpkin! In all it's glory! :D:D:D:D**

**Iggy: Speckled pumpkin...? **

**Rain: Uhuh. Inside joke. I told my friend to post her story or I'd throw a speckled pumpkin at her. There have been references made to speckled pumpkins in three stories now. Total takes over, Amazing Cliches, and her new story 'Animated'. Go read it, btw. By Evil Robina. GO!!!**

**Iggy: Inside voice.**

**Rain: Stop stealing things I say!!!!**

**Iggy: INSIDE VOICE!!!!!!**

**Rain: Geez Ig, take your own advice. -smiles-**

**Iggy: -rolls eyes- Whatever. I'm going to make tacos. **

**Rain: Make me some! Okay, again, R & R. **

Max stared up at her new house with contempt. Max stared at everything with contempt these days, just because she was so full of contempt for everything. Because she was badass, and obviously a badass character in this Alternate Universe should have contempt for stuff, and an indifferent attitude to match. It was supposed to make her seem awesome, but really it just made her look like an ass.

Max's little sister Nudge (no one bothered to ask why two normal girls had names like Max and Nudge, they just did) was bouncing around and talking Portuguese non-stop. In this story, Nudge could speak Portuguese, because she was cool like that. Anyway, she kept asking Max whether she wanted to go eat some oranges.

"I don't want to eat any stinkin' oranges." Max said coldly. Nudge burst into tears. Max sighed. "Oh fine, come on. Let's go get something to eat then, you hyperactive, Portuguese speaking twit." Max smirked to herself. She was soooooo cool 'cause she was mean and stuff. Nudge grinned and began to giggle non-stop, bouncing into the house, presumably to find some oranges.

"Nudge has an orange fetish." Max commented to herself, scuffing her feet as she walked inside. 'Cause badass people scuff their feet. Max wondered things to herself as she headed for the kitchen in her new house. Why had she moved here? It was so dumb, and she hated everyone because she had to move house. Oh, woe is Max. Suddenly, there came a knock at the door.

"Nudge! Get the door! And for the love of god get that orange peel out of your mouth! And speak English, noob!" Max screamed. Nudge called her a -bleep- in Portuguese and answered the door.

"Hello, welcome to the Ride household, how may I help you?" she asked politely. Max stared past her obnoxious little sister and saw the people assembled to presumably welcome her to their stupid little neighbourhood. There were two little blonde kids with blue eyes, a kid with really milky blue eyes and strawberry blonde hair, and a random dark haired and eyed boy who was gaping at her. Max scowled at him with _CONTEMPT_.

"Hey." The blind kid nodded.

"Hey." The blonde kids chorused together.

"Hey." The dark haired kid added. "We're here to welcome you, and stuff."

"That's so cool! Hi, I'm Nudge! That's my sister, Max, but she's a beeeyotch and I hate her 'cause she's like, so MEAN and stuff! Like, yeah, like. You know what I mean, like?" Nudge squealed.

"Like, yeah!" the little blonde girl replied. "Totally!" Max rolled her eyes. They were totally, like, annoying. Like. She turned around and suddenly the dark haired boy was right in front of her.

"Self-defence!" Max screamed, punching him and sprinting up the stairs.

"What a weird girl..." the dark haired boy (who shall be called Fang, because the author couldn't be bothered to keep writing 'dark haired boy' every time he spoke) said.

"What an ass." The blonde haired boy (Gasman, for the same reasons as above) agreed. Fang stared after her, wondering how someone so delicate and beautiful and wonderful and perfect could be such a badass. And so, he followed her. Because Fang had no regard for personal space or anything like that.

"HEY!" he cried, knocking down her door. Max squealed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" she screamed.

"DO YOU WANT TO IRREVECOBLY FALL IN LOVE, BUT NEVER ADMIT IT, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND THAT I HAVE CONVENIENTLY FORGOTTEN FOR THE MOMENT!?" Fang asked. Max considered this.

"But... but I'm badass!" she protested weakly. Fang moved forward.

"I see past that exterior," he said wisely, even though he had only known her for literally less than two minutes, "I see the beautiful girl hiding inside. You just need to trust me." Max closed her eyes. She knew it was true- she loved this boy, although he apparently had a girlfriend and she had no idea what his name was.

"I thought we weren't admitting our feelings for each other until later chapters? I thought we were supposed to become friends after I first hate you and then maybe develop feelings for you, but you get a girlfriend and I go emo and start writing depressing poetry and listen to emo music and stuff?" Max asked in confusion. Fang shrugged.

"Well, the author of this story got bored with that, so she's randomly decided to make two strangers fall in love with each other. I'm Fang, by the way." He smiled.

"Max." Max said, all of her badass-ness melting away. Fang was like a potato peeler, peeling away all of her layers. Except she wasn't a potato.

"What a beautiful name." Fang said, and kissed her. Just then, Lissa/Brigid appeared.

"OMG YOU'RE SUCH A JERK YOU CHEATER!" Lissa/Brigid screeched. Max rolled her eyes and chucked Lissa/Brigid out the window.

"Stupid ranga." (A/N: I don't mean any disrespect to red-headed people. One of my very close friends has red hair, in fact.) Max said, and then went back to kissing Fang.

Meanwhile, Nudge taught Iggy, Gazzy and Angel Portuguese, and they all sat around eating oranges. Everyone had a happy ending, because Max was no longer a stupid psycho badass with emotional problems. Lissa/Brigid died, and Iggy ran away to Canada to become a Mountie, ey. (A/N; Again, no disrespect to Canadians. I mean no disrespect to anyone, kk? Haha)

**A/N; **

**That was stupid, but I'm posting.  
Max is not a potato and Nudge has an orange fetish. And Fang's a cheating dork. Iggy wants to become a Mountie. Yep, that's the Flock for you. **


	5. No memories & no one bothers to ask why

**A/N;**

**A few people have suggested this, and I have seen like 5 since then. It's kinda starting to bug me, but w/e. I mean no disrespect, of course. **

**The lists is coming to an end! -sobs- I really can't believe it... anyway, I give you another chapter of...**

**AMAZING CLICHES. **

**I feel I should explain this storyline, seeing as it starts off intending to parody a certain cliché, but then I totally veer off track and turn it into something else. I apologise for that, FYI. I do it sometimes. Anyway, this is a cliché of the flock suddenly losing their memories then meeting each other again and getting them back. Yeah.**

**I own nothing, R & R. **

She really had no idea who she was.

The girl was puzzled. She knew for sure that yesterday she DEFINITELY knew who she was, but today she randomly had no memory. She stood up from the ground (why was she on the ground..?) and shook out her wings, (wings?!) yawning loudly.

"Well, this is interesting." She commented, spying three other figures around her. Two of them had wings, while the other had none. "Oi! Wake up!" No-name girl shouted. The other girls sat up, rubbing their eyes.

"WTF?" the little blonde girl grumbled. "Hey, who are you people?"

"I don't know." another shrugged.

"Me either."

"Well," the first girl said, "Let's make up names. It's annoying otherwise. I'm Max, and you're Angel, Nudge and Ella." The other girls nodded in agreement.

"So," Ella said, "Any idea how we got here?"

"Of course not!" Max snapped, "Otherwise I would've told you by now!"

"STFU!" Ella screamed back. Oh crap, it looked like the lightning from the second chapter was seeping into this story! Nudge shrieked as she saw a yellow mist engulf Ella, swallowing her up and taking her back to chapter two for more bad grammar torture. And just like that, the author forgot about bringing her back into the story, because she was annoying and had no wings.

The three winged girls flew into the sky, escaping the yellow mist easily with their awesome flying powers! Go, Go, flying rangers! Okay, on with the story...

So, Max and Angel and Nudge flew around, until they randomly came to a random town. Randomly. They landed, and no one bothered to ask why they had wings. No one bothered to ask a lot of things in this story.

Anyway, the three girls were walking around, not really knowing where they were, who they were, what they were, but they randomly decided to go to school. Because, you know, when you suddenly lose your memory and have wings, you decide to go to SCHOOL. When they went to school, they randomly bumped into three guys and a dog. They all had wings, even the dog had wings, and NO ONE BOTHERED TO ASK WHY. Max suddenly jumped in the air, pointing a finger at the dark haired boy. (Henceforth named Fang).

"OMIGOSH I KNOW YOU! EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO MEMORY I STILL KNOW YOU!!!!" She proclaimed. Fang walked up and kissed her. And no one bothered to ask why.

When they broke apart Max grinned.

"Omigosh I randomly have my memory restored!" No one bothered to ask why.

"YAY!" Fang screamed, very OOC, and no one bothered to ask why.

"I KNOW YOU TOO!" the others cried. "BUT WE HAVE NO MEMORIES! WOE IS US!"

"I CAN GIVE YOU YOUR MEMORIES BACK!" Carlisle suddenly appeared in a puff of orange smoke, carrying a very large baseball bat.

"OMIGOSH WHY IS CHAPTER TWO COMING BACK TO HAUNT US!?!?" Nudge screamed.

"WHY ARE WE TALKING IN CAPITALS!?" Angel screeched.

"BECAUSE THE AUTHOR WANTS TO ADD EMPHASIS TO THE STORY! BUT REALLY IT JUST MAKES HER LOOK STUPID!" Gazzy explained.

"Oh." Angel and Nudge nodded. Iggy still hadn't said anything yet, and no one bothered to ask why. Then Carlisle whacked them over the head with the baseball bat and disappeared, and no one bothered to ask why. The flock poofed away and ended up on top of Uluru.

"...Why are we on a giant rock..?" Iggy asked, speaking for the first time.

"DAMN YOU! NO ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BOTHER TO ASK WHY!" Total screamed, and tackled him. Iggy fell off the side, and suffered minor head trauma as a result. But he didn't die, 'cause the author loved Iggy! Ella magically re-appeared.

"It's okay guys, Carlisle fixed me." She beamed proudly.

"Great, great." Max nodded in her leaderly way.

"...Are we just randomly talking because the author really has no idea what to write next, and is incredibly tired and has no real plot to any of these clichés at all?" Fang asked. Max nodded again.

"Pretty much." Angel agreed. "How boring for all the readers."

Suddenly Jeb appeared, wearing a bright pink tutu and black eye makeup.

"I'm a gothic fairy!" he proclaimed, and Max threw a speckled pumpkin at him. He died. Then Ari arrived, re-incarnated as a slug.

"I am Ari the slug!" he announced, sliding up onto Iggy's face.

"Ew! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!" he screamed. He squished Ari, and he died.

"You killed my brother, betch!" Max punched Iggy and Iggy fell of Uluru, again. But he still didn't die.

"This has dragged on long enough!" A loud booming voice announced, and suddenly everyone disappeared, presumably to await the next chapter they would all play parts in.

And then the author went to bed, because she was very sleepy.

**A/N;**

**I am so overtired now. And that was possibly the stupidest chapter I've ever written. I'm ashamed. Anyway, enjoy. **

**R & R!**


	6. Bandemonium

**A/N;**

**I wanted to get this chapter done last night, but I couldn't be bothered. Was waaaaaaaaaaay too tired.  
No one bother to ask why, please. ;)**

**I saw a lot of these floating around, and a few of you suggested it, and hopefully I'll be in a slightly more sensible mood today... and it won't randomly crash and burn towards the end. **

**Again, I own nothing, and mean no disrespect, speckled pumpkins, Iggy with tomato sauce, yada yada yada...**

**Iggy: Iggy with tomato sauce? **

**Rain: I really don't know. **

**Iggy: You're not planning to cook me in tomato sauce and eat me, are you?**

**Rain: -rolls eyes- When they experimented on your eyes, did they experiment on your brain, too? **

**Iggy: Well... actually... they **_**did**_** enhance our brains, like, pre-birth. Because apparently I'm a real boy, not a test-tube baby. **

**Rain: Hey! Who would you rather live with? Me or your ass-hole parents?**

**Iggy: You. **

**Rain: Woot! Score one for me!**

**Iggy: -rolls eyes- It's not really much of a win. **

**Rain: -shrugs- **

**On with the story!**

As the flock walked down the street, Max sighed to herself. Iggy and Fang had previously been fighting over something behind her, and now both boys were nursing black eyes. Nudge had been chattering in Portuguese (she'd learnt it from chapter 4 Nudge) and teaching Total to speak it. Angel was skipping over to people and shaking their hands, informing them to call her admiral. (A/N; Google 'things to do in an elevator- hilarious!)

So yeah, Max was pretty tired and p.o'ed.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a music store, and in particular, a deep purple guitar. Crying out in excitement, she rushed over and pressed her face against the glass, which was covered in bugs and something that looked suspiciously like regurgitated fish sticks.

"Oh my god! I must have that guitar!" she proclaimed to no one in particular. "I have suddenly and unexplainably developed an un-dying love for music!" she turned to her flock, and glared at them.

"And we are forming a band!" she told them matter-of-factly. Iggy frowned.

"I don't want to be in a band." Max gave him a dirty look, which was lost on him. When she realised that her harsh glares and frowns weren't working, she slapped him.

"You'll be in our band, or you're out of the flock." She said calmly, and turned to walk inside.

"...Just be in the band, dude." Fang muttered. "Hopefully she'll realise that we can't form a band when she plays and sees that she's absolutely crap at it, seeing as she's never even held a guitar in her life." Iggy sighed, seeing the reason in that statement. Of course Max would see that they couldn't be a band- they were mutants with no musical talent whatsoever!

_LATER_

Max smiled at the Flock, who gaped at her. Max had just finished playing her 49th song in a row, perfectly memorised and without a single mistake. She also sung them, and her voice was suddenly amazing and golden and she was absolutely the BESTEST singer EVAH.

"OMIGOSH MAX YOU'RE SO GOOOOOOOD! WE SHOULD TOTALLY FORM A BAND AND I COULD PLAY THE TRIANGLE COZ IM SO GOOD AT PLAYING THE TRIANGLE!" Nudge squealed, in a very (apparently) Nudge-ish way. Max nodded, and Nudge poofed away to find a triangle. Oh, no one bothered to ask how Max had actually got the guitar in the first place, or why she was so fantastic at it with NO PRACTISE. Obviously, the author simply decided that Max MUST be excellent at playing the guitar, and so she was. There was no logic behind it at all.

Nudge reappeared with her triangle, and began to play along with Max as they launched randomly into another song. The rest of the flock went to go and find instruments, and this is what they chose;

Max: lead guitarist and lead vocals  
Fang: base guitarist  
Iggy: drummer  
Nudge: triangle-player  
Angel: keyboard and backup singer (obviously she couldn't be lead vocals, seeing as this was MAX'S band and so MAX should get to play lead guitar AND sing solo)  
Gazzy: flute  
Total: trombone

Yes, they had a trombones and flutes in their band. Just because they were so awesome, and they deserved to have generally non-rock band instruments in their band, just to show how incredibly AMAZING and ORIGINAL this entire story was.

"Okay band, I've written us a song." Max announced the next day. "It is possibly the most incredible song in the world, and I will definitely have a hit on my hands."

"Uh, don't you mean WE will have a hit on OUR hands?" Gazzy asked. Max frowned at him until he submitted. "Never mind..." he mumbled.

"Anyway, this is the song I wrote!" Max beamed, and suddenly she began singing in her AMAZING PERFECT WONDERFUL BEAUTIFUL SONGBIRD voice. (A/N; Seriously, songbird?)

_Woooo-aaaaah, my flock is so co-oooool  
Becauuuuse, we have wings, and we're awesome  
We kick eraser butt and we get on the news and we meet humans and I kick their butts... because I'm coooo-ooool  
We're the flock, and we're so mad, we're not just some passing fad. That's the only line in this song that rhymeeeeeesssss!_

_We're so original, and hot, and totally sweet,  
and we sleep in trees, and stuffffffff  
but we don't sleep well coz our sleep patterns are screwed  
because scientists meeeesssseeeedddd with us!!! _

_We're the flock, we're amazing, but I'm the most amazing coz I'm Maximum Ride!  
I love the Fangster, coz' he's totally smex, but if he kisses Lissa or Brigid I'll smash his face in,  
because I'm jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaalloooouuuusss!_

_Iggy and Gazzy they make the bombs,  
Nudge talks all the time,  
Angel reads minds, and is a creepy little chick,  
Total's a talking dog, and no one likes him  
Fang is dark and silent, the type I love,  
And I'm Max! And I have a boy's name, but don't tell me that or I'll smash your face in! YEAH!_

Max stopped singing, pleased with herself. She randomly saw a poster for a 'battle of the bands' competition. "Oh, we should totally sign up for that!" The flock nodded in agreement after hearing the AMAZING song, and they all signed up.

-insert incredibly lengthy amount of chapters here where Fang cheats on Max, Max writes a song about it and sings it, they win battle of the bands and Fang explains that it was all a misunderstanding and he was FORCED into kissing Brigid (cough cough pedo woman cough cough)/Lissa. Max and Fang kiss, and everyone is suddenly happy.-

The next day, the band broke up, Fang went to make out with Lissa/Brigid again, Nudge hurled her triangle at the wall, Iggy pondered how he could possibly play the drums if he was blind, Gazzy went solo and released 5.3 albums, Angel moved to Mexico with Total and Max went to go eat cookies with the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.

The end.

**A/N;**

**Yep. Did it again! Goal for next chapter- DO NOT veer of madly and forget the point of the chapter.  
Not that any of these have a point, because they really don't. Anyway, enjoy!**


	7. lurrrrvveeee, or something

**A/N;**

**Welcome to another chapter of Amazing Clichés. I've seen this happen a lot, and a few people have suggested it, and that always equals a cliché, in my opinion. **

**Iggy: Having wings is a part of who we are!**

**Rain: Sometimes it is interesting to watch you deal with human situations, though. If it's well written, it's entertaining and nice to read. Again, I mean no disrespect to anyone, blah de blah de blah. **

**Iggy: And you own nothing. **

**Rain: Nailed it! Oh, Dt2009, Iggy hasn't seen Nudge! **

**Iggy: I haven't seen ANYONE. It's very depressing. **

**Rain: So that's why you take anti-depressants in 'How long is Forever?' by Aleria14! (Everyone, go read that story! It's awesome!)**

**Iggy: I'm not a druggo!**

**R & R, haha. **

Max sat in the principal's office, glaring at him.

"You're such a rebel Max, and I'm actually quite sick of it." The principal glared back. "What on earth possessed you to spray paint _that word_ on my car?" Max shrugged.

"Felt like it." She muttered in her rebel way. "Coz I'm a rebel." She then levelled her gaze, and the principal shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "And you won't punish me, because I have a terrible family life that causes me to act this way, possibly an abusive father, or something along those lines." The Principal nodded, and Max left the room. She was an expert at escaping trouble, because she was a profesh rebel. And stuff.

She sauntered down the hall, glaring at kids who got in her way and basically living up to her apparent nickname 'Ice Queen'. Because that's a totally original nickname, and has NEVER been used before. EVER.

She pushed some random kid into the lockers because he had bad breath. She tripped some girl up because she had the same shoes as her. She walked around scaring everyone with her rebel-ness until she finally bumped into some random guy with dark hair. He turned around, and Max gaped at him. He was smexxx! He had long dark hair like night) and dark eyes like pools of night darkness and stuff. He was completely dark and mysterious, and for a second Max forgot about her rebel attitude. This was Fang, the schools resident playboy and sexiest guy alive. Or something. He gave her a 'whatever' look, and turned back to kissing some red-haired-chick, named Brissa. Brissa was a ska- uh, she was a _skunk._

Max pretended she hadn't thought any of those things, and ran away. Of course, she was still thinking about the AMAZINGLY SEXY AND HOT boy she had met, and the author wrote about it for the next 4.3 chapters.

Over the next few days, Max and the AMAZINGLY SEXY AND HOT MYSTERIOUSLY CUTE Fang had a few random meetings, where they slowly fell in love. Of course. The author wrote about that for 2.7 chapters. Once the author hit chapter ten, she put in a kiss scene. The kiss scene went like this-

_**Chapter Ten: FAX KISS SCENE OMG!!!!11!!1ELEVEN!!!**_

"_Hey..." Fang said sexily. Max fluttered her eyelashes at him. _(Even though she was supposed to be a rebel, and a tough chick...)

"_Yeah?" she asked. _

"_I love you." He confessed, and kissed her. When they broke apart, Max shrugged._

"_K." She nodded, and then they made-out some more. _

And then the author wrote about the flavour of lip gloss (seriously, wasn't Max a rebel? A boyish rebel?) Max wore, and the way Fang's lips felt on hers, and wrote it twice from both their POV's, until all the reader could picture was a sloppy-borderline-sexual-harassment Fax kiss. They went out, like they were SUPPOSED TO, and Fang stopped being a player. Max's 'ice heart' melted a little. They lived happily- oh wait. No they didn't.

Brissa decided that she hated Max's guts and that if she couldn't have Fang, no one could! MUAHAHAHAH! *cough, cough*  
She bought a bag of rat poison, and put it in Max's soda. However, Brissa was dumb and got the soda's mixed up, and then she died. No one cared, so someone shoved her in the garbage disposal. THEN they lived happily ever after.

Just then, the author realised that she hadn't put the rest of the flock in the story, so she decided that they'd poofed to Australia to hang with Bell and Rain.

The END

**A/N;**

**Yeah, it's a bit of a shortie, but w/e. Not my best work either, but I want to work on the next chapter. I'm much more inclined to write it, as I'm actually reading one right now, and it's frustrating me, because so many of you have suggested it! So BAM, I'm writing one soon!**

**Iggy: We poofed to Australia?**

**Rain: Yes, you did. Now, on to the next chapter, and away!**

**Iggy: And away! **

**Rain: Only I may say that.**

**Iggy: No way!**

**Rain: Way! **

**Iggy: We're so mature. **

**Rain: I'm not mature! :D :D **

**Iggy: Don't I know it?**

**Rain: R & R :D **


	8. Hotel Predictable

**A/N;**

**I'm baaaaaaaaaaack. After posting last night, I'm posting again.  
Seeing as I'm home sick, I'm gonna try and update lotsa stuff. :D  
And honestly, this just annoys me to no end. Thus, I give you-  
**_**Welcome to the Predictable Hotel! **_

**~Rain –hugs- **

So, the flock had decided they wanted to rest for a little while, and a hotel is the _obvious_ choice for a band of merry mutants on the run, because they don't have cameras in hotels or anything, where they could see the _wings_, and stuff. No, not at all. (A/N; do they have cameras in hotels?)

Max checked them in, and no one bothered to ask where their parents were. It seemed perfectly normal for six kids and a dog to want to stay in a luxurious hotel for a week. Perfectly normal.

"Could you give us 6 rooms?" Max asked. The receptionist shook her head.

"I'm sorry. All of our 6 bedroom suites have been booked. The only thing I can offer you is a 3 bedroom." At this, Nudge suddenly screamed; "I CALL A ROOM WITH ANGEL!" and the two girls plus Total rushed up to their room, which was on the top floor. Coz the top floor was the coolest floor. No one looked up at Nudge's bizarre screams. Max payed and quickly ushered her flock out of the lobby.

"Me and Gazzy will share!" Iggy called, and the two boys ran after Nudge and Angel. Fang and Max looked at each other, heart pounding, sweating, getting wobbly knees, feeling weak, and generally showing all the usual symptoms that meant they were OBVIOUSLY in love with each other, but were too stupid to show it. And stuff.

"I... uh.. guess.. uh... we're, uh, sharing. Uh." Fang stammered, very OOC for him. Because in all the books, he was the one starting nearly all the kisses, and being totally suave and cool about his feelings for her, and stuff. But in this fic, Fang was a dorky loser who got all nervous around Max.

"Yep." Max replied swiftly, clearing her throat. They both went up to their room, going through a very awkward elevator scene where the elevator music played and they kept glancing at each other and blushing and the rest of that JUNK. Finally, they got to their room. Max decided she wanted a shower. She hopped in the bathroom and got in the shower, but unlike a normal person, she forgot to look for towels! Oh, the convenience of it all!

"Uh... Fang!" she called nervously.

"What?" Fang answered.

"There... are... uh... no towels..." Max mumbled.

"Oh." Fang was silent for a moment. "I guess you want me to get them for you, huh?"

"That would be great."

Fang shuffled over to the shower and handed the towels through the door. Max dried herself quickly and pulled on her _very OOC _skimpy pyjamas. She walked into the room and avoided Fang's gaze, 'cause they can kiss several times, confess love to one another, but can't handle Fang having to give Max a towel. Or something.

Anyway, Fang went to go have a shower while Max poked needles in a voodoo doll of Jeb she had made ages ago.

"Muahahahahahahahah!" she cackled, jabbing one right in Jeb's... downstairs area. She looked up as someone coughed softly. Hiding the doll behind her back, her jaw dropped as she saw Fang standing there, his hair dripping wet and wearing nothing but a towel.

"Fang!" she squeaked, averting her eyes.

"...Forgot my clothes. You're, uh, sitting on them. Uh." Fang muttered. Max leapt up and tossed the voodoo doll into her bag as she went. She looked at Fang's PERFECTLY TONED CHEST AND ABS and blushed furiously. He was looking at her SUPER HOT AND SMEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX BODY. Because Fang had a secret perverted nature that he kept hidden, apparently. Fang went to go and get changed, while Max wrapped a blanket around herself. He came back out wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. Apparently he had no shame, either.

"This is what I sleep in, woman. Deal with it!!!!!!" Fang screeched. Max blushed again. Just then, the author decided to say that there was only one bed.

"Oh. I'll sleep on the floor." Fang opted. Max shook her head.

"It's okay. We just won't touch each other. I want the left side." And then she leapt into bed. Fang followed with a sigh, hoping he could control his thoughts.

The next morning, they woke up, and the entire flock had somehow snuck into their room, and were giggling. Even Iggy, coz Iggy giggled, and stuff.

"What?" Max snapped. Then she realised just where she was, and where Fang was, and where his arms were, and she screamed, picking him and tossing him out the window.

"GO BACK TO YOUR ROOMS!" Max screamed. Fang poofed back into the room, and the two randomly started kissing. Because that made PERFECT SENSE.

The end.

_MEANWHILE..._

"Is there a cause of these random jabs of pain, sir?" the doctor asked, peering at Jeb curiously. Jeb shook his head. Suddenly he had a spasm of agony and collapsed to the ground. He swore loudly and repeatedly.

"I recommend panadol." The doctor said after a few minutes. "NEXT!"

**A/N;**

**R & R? :)**


	9. Max's uberawesomesupercool shopping time

**A/N;**

**Well... I got an interesting suggestion last chapter; A Twilight/MR crossover, suggested by someone called 'hi, I'm awesome'. Should I do it? I don't know whether I should do a multi-chapter serious one, a multi-chapter funny one, or a one-shot, funny or serious. Let me know? I'm intrigued by this idea, because I've never actually thought about it before. **

**Now, this cliché also annoys me, so I hope you enjoy. :)**

**Shadowleaf, it's gonna go on for a LONG TIME, I promise you. Haha. I need some way to kill my boredom, and the writer's block monster. **

**This is dedicated to 'St. Fang of Boredom', which I'm sure you have all heard of. Thanks for being such an amazing writer, and making me laugh continuously while reading your stories. This goes out to you, Saint. **

**Iggy: Time for the disclaimer?**

**Rain: do your thing, Ig. **

**Iggy: -drum roll- Rain owns... nothing!**

**Rain: SHOCK HORROR! Le gasp! **

**R & R. **

Ella and Nudge crept to Max's room, rope ready and waiting to be used. Ella jumped on Max and whacked her on the head with a baseball bat she'd borrowed from Carlisle Cullen from chapter two, and Max fell, unconscious once more. The two girls cackled maniacally, and tied her up. They then chucked her into the trunk of Dr. Martinez's car, and jumped inside.

"Drive, drive, drive!" Ella screamed, and Dr. M floored it. The car went screeching down the road, but they were miraculously not stopped by any police. They were all off with the Teen Titans in Jump City, trying to beat the annoying, uh, I mean _amazing_ Mumbo Jumbo. -cough, cough-. Anyway, the two girls, Max and Dr. Martinez got to the mall. Ella stole her credit card and Dr. Martinez poofed away to go save some abused turtles.

"Let's go buy some clothes!" Ella squealed.

"YEAH LET'S GO BUY SOME CLOTHES!" Nudge squealed.

"Clothes! Shopping! Woo!"

"SHOPPING OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!"

"What. The. -censored-." Max muttered, unable to rub her aching head on a count of her arms were pinned to her sides. "Why am I at the mall?" Ella quickly untied her.

"Duh, we're going shopping." She said in an obvious tone. Max screamed, horrified, as the two shop-a-holics dragged her off.

"I want to live! What is this? Death-by-subbmission-to-clothing-stores?" Max protested.

"We don't care." Nudge snapped, "So deal." Max sighed, and because the author couldn't be bothered to write up any more ways for Max to protest, so she quietly followed her kidnappers into various stores.

Now, because the author of this considered themselves a total fashion diva, and thought that everyone must be interested in what the girls bought, she decided to spend 5.3 chapters describing it.

Nudge bought 53 and a half shirts, coloured purple, pink, green, yellow, orange, blurple, gellow, and all the other generic colours that shirts tend to be. She then bought a halter neck top, a tank top, ten pairs of jeans, some converses, some high-tops, a hairbrush, a toothpick, some tissues and roller skates. All of these were extremely multi-coloured, and all bought from the most PWNSOME shops evahz. And stuff.

Ella bought 23 mini-skirts all coloured pink, because Ella was cool like that, 21 pairs of jeans, with fifty-five stripes of pink on them, two shirts, coloured pink, some pink bobby pins, pink sunscreen, a pink mattress, some pink sneakers and some pink sunglasses. Because Ella was obviously a stupid girly girl who was obsessed with pink and didn't like any other colour. And stuff.

Max bought some really SMEX mini-skirts, with little purple stars and stripes on them, some SUPER SPEX strapless shirts (which miraculously hid her wings- don't ask) some totally cool make up, nail polish, and basically lots of stuff that Max would never wear. And stuff.

"Okay, can we go home now?" Max pleaded, getting down on her knees and slobbering all over Nudge's new shoes.

"ZOMG! My new shoes!" she squealed, kicking Max into a Mcdonald's sign. Max went 'ow' and all her shopping bags flew everywhere. Lots of hairy midgets came and stole them.

"The super smex clothes that we forced Max into buying! OMG!" the girls squealed, (they did a lot of squealing) and ran after the hairy midgets. Max slid down onto the floor, rubbing her head. She leapt up all of a sudden, realising it was time to make her escape. She sprinted for the exits, bursting out into the afternoon sun (yes, they had been shopping all day). She whipped out a conveniently placed cell phone and dialled Dr. M's number. She sounded slightly hysterical, but Dr. Martinez got the message, and pulled up to the mall a few moments later. Max leapt into the car, tears forming in her eyes.

"No more shopping. No more. Bad shopping. Angry midgets. Hairy. Ella. Nudge. Evil. Bad. Scary." Max began to rock back and forth.

"How was your day, dear?" her mother asked cheerfully, apparently not noticing her daughter's insane ranting.

"Terrible. Frightening. -Censored- up." Max mumbled, resting her head against the window.

"Uhuh, and where's Ella and Nudge?"

"Chasing hairy midgets, who stole all my clothes."

"Ah, I see. Well, Ella will ring when she wants to be picked up. Those two could shop forever, I bet." Max shuddered, thanking whatever Gods were up there that the mob of thieving midgets had appeared, and given her a chance to escape.

"Evil. Bad. Terrible. No more. Ella. Nudge." Max went on, still rocking and convulsing.

"Of course we can go out for ice cream, dear."

"No more shopping!"

"And yes, you may get sprinkles."

"Shopping..." Max whispered weakly, giving up.

"Ooh, we'll bring Ella and Nudge!"

"..."

"I want peanut butter with my ice cream!"

"...ugh..."

"I love you, daughter dearest!"

Max leapt out the car window, and Dr. M continued talking as if her eldest child were still in the car. Max went to join the circus as a belly-dancer, and the rest of the flock never noticed she was gone. How's that for loyalty?

Meanwhile, Ella and Nudge were taken prisoner by the hairy midgets, and fed to a hibblesquawk, the midget name for 'giant rabid dog'.

And that ends Max's super fantastic uber cool shopping experience. Fin.

**A/N;**

**Yes, I am aware that belly dancers are not part of a circus, so don't bother pointing that out. Yes, I did just type random letters and turned them into a word where 'hibblesquawk' was concerned. I now copyright it. Haha, just kidding. **

**R & R. **


	10. IMing

**A/N;**

**Another chapter of Amazing Clichés! :) **

**A few people have suggested this, and I see this EVERYWHERE, not just in the MR fandom. It's especially overused in the Teen Titans fandom, but that's another story. I've seen a few of these, and that's enough to convince me to cliché it. **

**Also, go read my 'Day of Anti-Hardwicke' story. 'When the fans get angry'. Hope you enjoy. Oh! And I even did my signature 'veer off madly, crashing and burning at the end' thing that I usually do on here. So maybe you'll get a laugh or two out of it. **

**Iggy: I can't believe you forgot to put your anti-slander thing in it.**

**Rain: 0_0 yeah, I forgot to add 'I don't know Hardwicke, I will never meet her, no disrespect intended, blah, blah, blah' at the start, so I had to go back and edit. -_- **

**Iggy: I'm guessing you own nothing in THIS story, either?**

**Rain: You're an idiot. If I didn't own anything in any other chapters or stories, what makes you think I would suddenly own Maximum Ride and any other affiliations? **

**Iggy: Internet auction?**

**Rain: Why would James Patterson auction the rights to MR on the net? -rolls eyes- **

**Iggy: It could happen!**

**Rain: Okay Ig, you just keep on thinking that. Go to your happy place. **

**Iggy: My happy place is with the flock.**

**Rain: You got your play date with Total! The only other stolen flock member I can give you is Total, if -iKate- lets me borrow him. **

**Iggy: The dog is better than nothing.**

**Rain: I'll see what I can do. **

**R & R**

Fang was googling hims- oh, I mean he was _blogging_ one night, when suddenly a purple leprechaun leapt out of the bushes holding 6 brightly coloured laptops. Fang squealed and jumped back, his laptop landing on the floor... but since it was a vampire laptop it didn't break. Coz it was invincible and stuff. Anyway, the leprechaun began doing a jig and singing in an Irish accent;

_Hey Fang, how do you do?  
I have some laptops for you!  
Blog, IM, read fan fiction and even flame,  
but if they break I am not to blame!  
There's one for each flock member,  
Because you're such a laptop hogger!_

Then he threw the laptops at Fang's head, and vanished in a puff of green smoke.

"Aren't leprechauns green?" Fang asked in confusion. Then he shrugged, and kicked each of the flock members awake.

"What the hell!?" Iggy moaned, getting to his feet with the others. "Who kicked me?"

"It was Fang, duh! Oh wait..." Angel mumbled, but then flashed Iggy a sweet smile (which he couldn't see). Iggy hurled himself into a tree in an attempt to be more emo than Fang, because he actually had a reason.

"The leprechaun gave us laptops!" Fang cheered, giving the flock their own laptops. They all squealed excitedly, and Iggy even returned from his temporary emotional breakdown. They all sat down on the forest floor, all immediately experts and complete computer whizzes.

"Hey! Let's go away from each other and talk on IM! That'd be so awesome!" Nudge suggested in her Nudge-way. The other agreed without question, because it was such an awesome and PRACTICAL idea to go get lost in the forest where they could be attacked by Erasers, and talk only on IM. Totally PRACTICAL, and stuff.

Anyway, they all disappeared and signed onto IM. Just to avoid confusion, here are the IM names;

Max; theleader  
Fang: thedarkone  
Iggy: theblindkid  
Nudge: themotormouth  
Gazzy: thefunkystomach  
Angel: theinnocentgirl  
Total: thedog

Yes, Iggy could type. He was just so cool like that.

--

**Theleader has just signed on**

**Thedarkone has just signed on**

**Theblindkid has just signed on**

**Themotormouth has just signed on**

**Thefunkystomach has just signed on**

**Theinnocentgirl has just signed on**

**Thedog has just signed on**

_Theleader: _OMG guyz this IM thing is sooo kwl!

_Themotormouth:_ Yer totaly max! Its awesum cuz i can tlk 2 u guys w/out actually tlking! How awesum is dat? Pretty awesum!!!1

_Theinnocentgirl: _yerdefinitely

_Theblindkid: _is any1 havin flashbacks from ch2?

_Thedarkone: _shut up iggy

_Theblindkid: _no way fang u luv max dnt u????????

_Theleader: _shut up iggy

_Thedarkone: _shut up iggy- i do not like max!!!!!

_Thedog:_ I havnt sed anything yet! Yay!1!!!!!111!!

_Everyone: _shut up total

_Thedog: _-cries-

_Themotormouth: _Oooh max u luv fang huh? And fang luvs you? You shud totaly get 2getha ova IM and stuf! Itd be so cute and sweet and like tru luvvvvvvv!!!!!!!

_Thefunkystomach: _nudge ur such a girl

_Theblindkid: _I luv ella!

_Thedarkone: _shut up me and max are bout to admit our undying luv and stuf

_Theleader: _we were?

_Thedarkone: _uh.... no

_Theleader: _aw k

_Theblindkid: _just hury up nd say it pleezz??

_Thedarkone: _I totally luv u max wanna get married?

_Theleader: _yeh of course! Then well hav a baby and name her Faxidgeanotalzy!

_Thedarkone: _k i dun luv u no more

_Theleader: _u deadbeat! Ur gonna love this baby cuz shes our responsibility nd stuff!!!!!!!

_Thedarkone: _wen did i get u preggers?

_Theinnocentgirl: _-sighs- of course were left out agen guys lets make our own convo!

_Themotormouth, Thefunkystomach, Thedog and Theblindkid: _ok!

**Themotormouth, Thefunkystomach, Thedog and Theblindkid have signed off **

_Theleader: _i cant believe u won care 4 fax w/me! U totally suck!!

_Thedarkone: _wen did i get u preggers?

_Theleader: _u r such a loser, i dnt no wat i saw in u! omg, im gonna b a single mom! -cries-

_Thedarkone: _wen did i get u preggers?

_Theleader: _i hate u!

_Thedarkone: _wen did i get u preggers?

_Theleader: _gaaaaaaaaaaaah! Go die fang i h8 u!1!!!!!!!!11!!

**Theleader has signed off**

_Thedarkone: _wen did i get her preggers?

**Thedarkone has signed off**

The flock all met back up again, Max slapped Fang really hard and he got a nosebleed, Gazzy, Nudge, Angel, Total and Iggy went on strike because they were greatly unappreciated and were sick of it. Max had Faxidgeanotalzy and the events of 'Max's secret love child' happened all over again. Fang went and had an affair with Brissa, who had come back after eating rat poison and dying in a previous chapter. The author posted this story thinking it was the most ORIGINAL and CREATIVE story they'd ever come up with, and everyone lived happily every after.

The end.

**A/N;**

**I don't think I violated any rating rules. It's T, so yeah. Haha. **

**MS hates me. So many squiggly lines... **

**R & R. **


	11. Emo Fang

**A/N;**

**So I've said goodbye to Iggy... **

**I'm sorta sad. & cos I've gotten used to disclaiming and writing my A/N's with someone, meet someone from my own mind; El. **

**I made up El ages ago- she was like an alter ego that was in your face and not afraid to stand up to those who deserved it etc, etc, etc. **

**So, she's here to stay. **

**El: Well, at least I'm finally allowed to speak. **

**Rain: Uhuh. Well, just make it interesting.**

**-Crickets make cricket-noises... chirp, or whatever- **

**El: ...Okay. Well, as always, you own nothing except for me. **

**Rain: Finally! I own something! -punches fist in the air- **

**El: Settle down, kiddo. **

**Rain: I know Fang's described in the books, but sometimes people go WAAAAAAAY over the top with the 'emo-ness'. I don't even think Fang's emo! But whatevs, I don't mean disrespect yada yada yada. On with the chapter!**

**El: WAIT!**

**Rain: What?**

**El: Your youtube vid.**

**Rain: bahaha! Oh yeah, I uploaded a youtube video. It's really... STUPID. Go watch it if you want... my username's **_**purplestrike24. **_**Now may I continue with the chapter?**

**El: Go ahead.**

Fang was very emo. He had long dark hair that covered his eyes (he often flew into trees because of this), and multiple scars up his arms that were from 'experiments at the school'. *cough cough cutter cough cough* He listened to depressing music and liked to steal Nudge's eyeliner. He shoplifted skinny jeans and got his ear, lip, eyebrow, nose, toenail, belly-button, cheek, pinky finger and knuckle pierced. He got a tattoo that said 'I'm emo' on the bottom of his foot.

He was so emo that when the sun came out he hid in caves and refused to move. He liked to pretend he was a vampire, because it seemed fitting. He often went out in search of sharp things, to 'cut his food' with. But really we all knew that he was an emotional wreck because, you know, he was _Fang_. Even though the others in the flock had been through the same stuff he had, he was the only emo one. Because only _he_ was cool enough to be emo.

Or something. Plus, the author thought he was hotter that way.

"I'm so emo, I'm so emo." Fang sang happily, erm, I mean _in a very depressed manner_ as he flew into another tree.

"God Fang cut your hair already!" Max shrieked. Fang flipped her the bird in a very depressed manner, before flying into another tree. But he refused to cut his hair. 'Cos it would ruin his emo image, or something.

That night, when the rest of the flock were asleep, Max came sliding over to him, grinning seductively. Because _Max_ was the poster child for seductiveness. Apparently. Fang snarled and pushed her away.

"Go away!" he moaned in a very depressed manner. Max burst into loud sobs.

"I hate you!" she wailed, because apparently Max _needs_ Fang to be happy *cough cough what happened to the strong-willed Max cough cough* and ran away. Fang didn't care. He just grabbed a stick and started to stab it into his wrist in a very depressed manner. He was unsuccessful, 'cos he kinda sucked at being emo.

Except no one cared about that, 'cos Emo-Fang is apparently hotter than normal Fang. Or something.

One day, the flock got sick of Fang being emo. They tied him to a rock and Iggy bitch-slapped him 'till he snapped out of it.

"But I'm emooooooooooo!" Fang wailed in a very depressed manner. Iggy slapped him again.

"I hate life!" Fang wailed again, in a very depressed manner. Iggy slapped him again.

"Fang you're not emo fang you're not emo fang you're not emo fang you're not emo fang you're not emo fang you're not emo fang you're not emo fangyou'renotemofangyou'renotemofangyou'renotemofangyou'renotemo-" Nudge babbled, but no one listened to her because she was Nudge, and obviously not important.

Angel and Gazzy went to go join a circus, because they hadn't been mentioned at all in this chapter.

Max suddenly flopped on Fang's lap, and made out with him _passionately_.

"Guess what?" Fang said brightly when they were finished.

"What?" Max asked.

"I'm not emo anymore, 'cos I totally love you and junk!" he gushed. Max squealed.

"Omigosh I totally love you too Fangie-poo!" she replied. Then they skipped off into the sunset and had a daughter named Faxidgeanotalzy the second. And one son- Faximus.

Iggy and Nudge fell into a huge gaping crater and no one ever heard from them again.

But who cares, because Fang was a hot emo kid who loved Max. That's all that matters in any story, right? FAX. And emoness. And ANGST. And stuff.

The end. In a very depressing manner.

**A/N;**

**Reviews=love. In a very depressing manner. And stuff. **

**Baha.**


	12. Nudge never shuts up

**A/N;**

**Since so many of you thought I'd finished this story... **

**Here's another update! :D **

**El: Wow, aren't you just a busy little bee? **

**Rain: Yesh, yesh I am. Oh! I made another video! Because my family are birthday shopping for me and I'm on my laptop, I've been able to do lotsa stuff! Update, make videos... yeah. Not a **_**lot**_** of stuff, but whatever. Total Takes Over will be updated today. And Caged, and hopefully Poisonous Memories, too, my two Teen Titans stories. **

**El: And of course, you own nothing?**

**Rain: Of course! Oh, the video is called 'Emo Fang' and my user is 'purplestrike24'. But, I got 255 views yesterday so I'm guessing most of you checked it out! :D thanks a bunch for that, by the way. And all the reviewers are wonderful, and stuff. You're cooler than the cool side of the pillow.**

***hugs***

**-Rain & El. **

Nudge was an annoying mutant with a big mouth. Or at least, that's how many fanfiction authors saw her, anyway. Nudge was the girl who everyone hated, 'cos she didn't know how to shut up.

Or something. Anyway.

"I really like pie, pie is good and oooh! Those jeans would look fabulous in pink! Hey, that reminds me of the song 'Fabulous' from High School Musical 2! I love High School Musical, because Zac Efron is a hottie hot hottie and Gabriella is soooooo pretty and she has the most amazing and totally _un-annoying_ voice EVAHZ and I wish I could sing that awesome! Ooh, look, a Labrador! Total, if you were a Labrador you'd be so much cooler because then you could protect us and stuff! I mean, not that you don't protect us now but you know what I mean!" Nudge glanced around, grinning happily, and realised everyone had walked off. She shrugged, because Nudge was an idiot. She had no brains.

Or something.

"Hey guys! I think I got lost from you before!" she gushed, hugging Gazzy for no reason.

"God Nudge shut up already!" he screamed, pushing her away. Nudge just kept grinning, because she didn't listen to anyone else talking except herself. Because talking was all she was good for in most fanfictions.

"Wow the sky is pretty today! Omigosh Fang you should totally kiss Max and marry her and me and Angel could be the bridesmaids and Iggy could be your best man and Gazzy could be the ring-bearer and I'd design the dresses and they'd be pink and frilly and puffy because I know how much you like pink, Max! And the boys would be dressed in blue and oh my god look at that lady's shoes! They're totally disgusting! Hey lady, get some new shoes!"

Everyone ignored her. Because no one ever listens to Nudge.

Suddenly, a giant mob of Erasers came swarming down on them. Max took charge, because she was all leader-y and stuff, while Fang went off and had another emo relapse. Iggy was knocked into a conveniently placed body of water, while Gazzy turned into a ninja and killed about fifty-five-hundred-and-five erasers. Angel was using Total as a weapon. Nudge looked around, and blinked.

"Oh my gosh can't you Erasers just leave us alone? I wonder why we call you Erasers I mean it's 'cos you try and erase us I guess but it's funny I bet every time someone reads the word 'Eraser' on Fang's blog it makes them think of those little pink things that rub out mistakes. When Anne bought me an Eraser for school when we stayed with her me and Angel laughed because we both had our own Erasers and _you're_ Erasers! Get it? Hey have you ever used an Eraser before? They're really cool, they leave little bits of leftover rubber on your sheet of paper when you rub something out then you can like stick them together and make like a little Eraser-bits ball! I made one then chucked it at the window to see if it would bounce! It didn't bounce, and I was sad, and-"

One by one, the Eraser's ears popped and they fell out of the sky, dead.  
Nudge had _talked them to death_. Gazzy was holding his ears and so was Max and Angel. Total was whining miserably. Fang had snapped out of his relapse and was groaning about being deaf. Iggy was spinning around in circles because he had no idea where he was- he was blind and now he couldn't hear, either.

Nudge looked at the destruction she had left in her wake, and shrugged.

"Hey we should go to Dr. Martinez's house and go shopping because I saw this really nice pair of shorts and a shirt and some make up and-"

Nudge rambled on and on about clothes, because she was obsessed. And she talked and talked and talked and talked until the flock eventually kicked her out. She went to go and live under the sea because she could talk as much as she wanted and no one would hear her and get mad.

Angel became president, and the Gasman was vice president. Max and Fang disappeared, presumably to elope in Vegas. Meanwhile, Iggy was still spinning around in circles because he was lost.

**A/N;**

**Poor Iggy. Next I've got to update TTO. :D **

**Reviews=love. **


	13. Iggy's sexual jokes

**A/N;**

**Me: Guys, this story is not over. It's not gonna be over for a while yet. Thankfully I can keep this going so long as there are clichés to make fun of. **

**El: So basically you can keep writing stupid, no-plot chapters until your readers get sick of it?**

**Me: Ever the optimist, aren't you? But yeah, basically. Keep suggesting those clichés, guys! I have two in mind, so I'll be posting at least one today... I've got two other stories to update. Maybe I'll post again later. I dunno. But reviews make me update faster... *hint hint* I'm almost at 200! I'm excited :D **

**El: And you'd like to thank Read4urlife for suggesting this cliché, and the next one? **

**Me: Yes! **

**El: Thank you, Read4urlife. **

**Me: :D **

**El: And you own nothing. As always.**

**Me: It's depressing, isn't it? **

**El: Yes, quite. **

**Me: Yeah... ooh! Also, for those of you asking what happened to Total...**

_Total was eaten and regurgitated by an Eraser. But he was alive, and decided to go live with Akila and have a litter of puppies, which he named Total jr, Akila jr, Totalisawesome, Akilaisadoll, ihateerasers, and imsickofdangersoilefttheflockandhad6puppieswithAkila. _

_Needless to say, the litter of puppies were all very confused individuals. _

**There we go! Oh, WARNING;  
This is probably one of the higher T rated chapters. Nothing actually mentioned, but for those readers with sick minds... you've been warned. Also, most of the sexual jokes don't make sense. They're not supposed to. Okay, onto the story.**

We all know that Max and Fang are like, totally in L O V E, right? Like, totally! Ahem.

Anyway.

They tried to keep their romance on the down-low whenever they were around the flock. Why, you ask?

Because Iggy was a sexist jerk who couldn't go two minutes without making a sexual innuendo about them. Or something. Max had already given him two black eyes, eight bleeding noses and three split lips, but he just didn't learn. He just kept making sick jokes based around their relationships, because apparently that's all he did in fax-related fanfictions.

"Hey Fang." Max greeted her boyfriend. Fang nodded.

"Hey Max. What's up?"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" Iggy crowed from his sleeping bag. Max threw a stick at him. "OW!"

"Nice weather we're having today." She continued.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"Shut up, Iggy!" Max screamed.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"Just ignore him, Max." Fang muttered. "He's an idiot."

"THAT'S WHAT SHE- OW!" Another well-aimed throw had Iggy rubbing his head.

"Come on, I wanna show you something." Fang rolled his eyes, getting the laptop.

"I know what he wants to show you, Max! Whooooooo!" Iggy chuckled, making obscene gestures with his hands. Fang calmly walked over to Iggy and punched him in the mouth. Iggy just kept laughing at his own stupid joke.

"Anyway, someone commented on my blog with some promising information on Itex." Fang continued, sitting back down.

"Oh, really? Show me, show me." Max said dryly, still angry at Iggy for his sexual jokes.

"What's he showing you, eh Maximum?"

"SHUT UP IGGY OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL KICK YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK AND-"

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

_Later._

"Well, he's finally asleep." Fang sighed, wrapping his arm around Max's shoulder that night.

"Why? So you guys can get down and dirty when we're not watching?" Iggy piped up from his sleeping bag. "Ow, hey! Guys!"

"Why do you keep making sick jokes?" Max demanded, hoisting him to his feet. Iggy rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"I actually have no idea... maybe fanfiction writers believe I'm some way of expressing their own sick jokes and dirty mind, because James Patterson made me say _one_ sexual innuendo in the books. Over-the-top in-character-ness, I think I'll call it. All I can do in most fanfictions is cook, make bombs, and say stupid stuff whenever the author writes overly gushy romance between you two." He paused, letting this sink in. "It's quite sad really. Anyway, keep it G rated. I'm going to bed."

With that, he flopped back into his sleeping bag and closed his eyes.

"What the hell was he going on about? Fanfiction, James Patterson? What?" Fang said.

"THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"

"Ugh..."

And still, Gazzy, Angel, Nudge and Total made no appearance in this chapter whatsoever.

**A/N;**

**That was weird. But oh well. Another suggestion of Read4urlife's- evil, world-domination obsessed Angel- will be coming up in the next chapter. I've gotta update my TT stories... haven't in ages.**

**R & R. THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.**


	14. Evil Angel

**A/N;**

**I'm feeling sleep deprived. Time to pull another chapter out! **

**:D**

**El: And you own nothing?**

**Me: No! I own the rights to Maximum Ride and all its affiliates. John Patterson sold them on eBay for $5500000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000234. **

**I just happen to be that rich.**

**El: Aha, very funny. Now, say you were lying before you get sued.**

**Me: -sighs- Fine. I own nothing. JP owns it all- and he did not sell it to me on eBay. I was lying, fibbing, bending the truth, lying, being an idiot... and etcetera. **

**El: Good girl.**

**R & R.**

Angel was a very bad little girl. In fact, you could even go so far as to call her -leans in and whispers-

_EVIL_.

But you didn't hear it from this chapter.

Anyway, she was so evil and bad, but no one ever took notice of her. She was actually very corrupt despite having bloody cute curls and a bear and a little dog and-

Anyway. That's why she was so good at being evil. Because no one suspected her with her cuteness and all. Or something.

"I shall destroy the world! Muahahahahah!" Angel cackled, throwing her arms into the air as she laughed like a crazy person. "Muahahahahahahahah! -cough, cough-"

"What did you say, sweetie?" Max asked, patting her blonde curls absentmindedly.

"I said I love you, Max. You're the best." Angel replied without falter. Total nodded in agreement. (He was Angel's personal assassin, and also very good at being bad. No one would ever suspect the dog.)

"So Angel, I follow the five L's- Live, Laugh, Love, Learn, Licence to kill. So long as we both apply the first four principals in our charades, and I keep the last one handy, we'll be fine!" Total explained that night by the fire.

"Gosh Angel get your dog to shut up." Gazzy snapped.

"That's what she said- OW!" Iggy rubbed his forehead, muttering darkly.

"The fifth L, Angel? Remember the fifth L..." Total pleaded. Angel shook her head.

"He may be useful to us in the future. His mimicry talent is quite spectacular. Also, he is my brother, and blood does run thicker than grape juice." Angel muttered wisely. Total nodded.

"What are you two muttering about?" Fang asked quietly.

"Ponies." Angel flashed Fang a cute smile, and he nodded.

"And rainbows and butterflies." Total added for good measure.

_LATER_

"Understand the plan? I'll drug those imbeciles, then you bag Max while I gather our supplies." Angel told Total as the others slept, "Then we'll hijack a plane and fly to Mexico, where we'll meet Brigid and Anne and discuss my becoming leader of the free world." Angel sneered. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"That's a great plan! And I would be-"

"Vice-leader." Angel nodded. "Now let's get to it!"

They put their plan into action. The flock was drugged and Max was stuffed in a burlap sack. Angel flew her to an airport where she and Total hijacked the plane and then they were off, on their way to Mexico. They could've used their wings to fly there, but Angel figured that if she was evil she shouldn't have to work.

"We're so astronomically diabolical!" Total said with a little jolt of excitement.

"Agreed." Angel answered. "I can see Brigid and Anne." She landed the plane, but one of the wheels ran over Brigid. Oops.

"Ah, Angel." Anne smiled, not caring about Brigid's death, "How nice to see you again."

"Thank you, Anne." Angel smiled, "Now, I brought Max. You know what I want."

"Yes, yes, to be the world's leader. I do believe you'd do a fantastic job, so I award you the position of 'Most-awesome-leader-of-the-world-which-is-a-title-that-comes-with-the-ability-to-boss-everyone-around-or-something'." Anne replied.

"I love it! And my assassin, Total, is of course Vice-Leader." Anne nodded in agreement as Angel spoke.

"Now hand over the contract." Angel said.

"Hand over the bird girl."

"Contract."

"Bird girl."

"CONTRACT."

"BIRD GIRL."

"Oh, Anne?" Angel smiled, meeting Anne's eyes, "_You will give me the contract. You will sign over Itex to me. You will buy me a cherry pie, and you will be my servant for all eternity_." Anne nodded mutely, her eyes glazed over. Angel smirked, turning to Total.

"Nice job, Angel!" he applauded her.

"I know."

"Let me out of the bag!" Max screamed. Suddenly, Angel heard the flock land behind her.

"Give us Max and Angel back, Anne!" Nudge cried. Angel began to cry.

"I-was-so-scared-they-kidnapped-me-and-Total-and-Max-and-and... waaah!" Angel sniffled out between sobs.

"It's okay, little sister." Gazzy hugged her tight. Fang let Max out of the bag and she stood up groggily.

"How did they find us? Anyone remember anything?" Everyone shook their heads, except for Iggy.

"I saw it! I saw it all!"

"You're blind."

"I _heard_ it! I _heard _it all!" he corrected himself. "I heard Angel and Total's diabolical plans! I heard them drug you all and try to drug me except it didn't work 'cos I'm totally awesome! And I heard Angel say she wanted to be leader and-"

"Oh Iggy?" Angel smiled, meeting Iggy's sightless eyes, "_You will shut up now._" She turned to the rest of the flock, "_You will listen to me now. You will be my servants. You will do as I say. You will buy me toys!!_" The flock nodded without hesitation. "Wonderful. Come on guys, Anne- where's my cherry pie? And I think I'd like to live in Forks, so that's where we're going next."

Everyone followed her without question, because she was totally evil and stuff. And a little mind-controlling demon. Or something.

Eventually the Flock broke free of Angel's mind control, and locked her in a little padded cell with only Celeste for company. Angel ended up eating her. Total went and joined the Spykids.

**A/N;**

**Weird chapter, not all that funny really.**

**This isn't really a cliché, but Read4urlife suggested an evil Angel, so I'm like 'hey!' and did it.**

**:D **


	15. School dayz

**A/N;**

**I've sort of semi-done this before. Kinda. But this one involves school, and Max is not a badass! It is FANG who is le badass! But they're both emo. Whatever. **

**:D:D**

**Can't be bothered making this interesting. El's off talking to my friend, who is currently over my house for two nights. :D So I'm on my own for this A/N. **

**Hope you enjoy, and maybe this'll make up for my crappy chapter that I wrote in like 10 minutes last night.**

**-Rain**

So like, everyone was talking about the HOT, SEXY new guy that was apparently starting at Max's school that day. She didn't know how everyone knew he was hot, but Stacy's Mom's boyfriend's sister's daughter who also went to the school heard from her cousin that when he came for an interview the girl who was always in trouble thought he was hot, and totally mysterious.

Or something. The grapevine is a wonderful thing. Anyway.

Max was chillaxing with her best friends, Nancy (Nudge) and Angelica (Angel), but Nancy wasn't really talking for once, as she was passionately making out with her boyfriend, Greg (Gazzy). Ian (Iggy) was making out with Ella, Max's sister. Angel was talking to herself.

Because all the Flock were randomly the same age in this fic. Anyway. Oh, did anyone notice that Max's name was the only one that didn't change? She was just too cool for a name change.

Max was staring off bored-ly, thinking about how much she hated her abusive father and basically life in general, when suddenly a HOT, SEXY, MYSTERIOUS, LOVABLE, MANLY, MUSCLY, SMEXY guy walked through the cafeteria doors. Oh, did I forget to mention they were in the cafeteria? Oops. Anyway.

Max was captivated by his scowling face, his dark, luscious hair that fell gracefully over his equally dark, angry, beautiful eyes. He took one look at her and flipped his hair, turning to sit by himself in the corner.

"Like, oh my god, you like, totally like, _like him_!" Nudge squealed. No one bothered to ask why the author randomly called Nancy Nudge. It was unimportant. Anyway.

"No I don't!" Max screamed angrily, surprisingly not attracting any attention from the nearby tables, and stalked out of the room. She didn't notice the GORGEOUS boy's eyes on her the entire time.

_-insert random switch to Fang's POV where the entire scene is replayed again through Fang's eyes, complete with long monologue about how smexy Max is and how she is a total sex goddess with a nice rack and all that here- _

The next day, Max spent a million hours making herself look totally hawt for the new guy. The author went on to say that she brushed her hair, straightened it, piled on the makeup (Even though the author would also go on to INSIST that it was a mere '_dash of mascara here, a bit of eyeliner and some eyeshadow...'_), and wore a tight short mini skirt, a purple halterneck top and some sexy high heels. Or something. Anyway, Ella told Max she was totally HAWT and Max went off to school feeling happy. Even though Max would never wear something like that. Anyway.

She strutted into school, and all the boys melted. Except for the HAWT, SEXY, NEW guy that she was (apparently) not trying to impress but had spent all morning making herself look pretty for. Or something. She passed by him, and because the author wanted them to have their first meeting, she smiled.

"Hey, I'm Max." She said, holding out her hand, "Nice to meet you." The boy scowled.

"Fang." He muttered. "I'm emo." Max smiled, apparently not hearing him.

"That's an interesting name. Hey, wanna make out?"

"No." Fang spat, and ran away screaming about razorblades, or something. Max stared after him, and flipped him the bird. Even though Max had just asked him to kiss her, she randomly began to hate him. How dare he be so rude, or something!

Anyway, over the course of the next few weeks, Max glared at Fang, and Fang glared at Max. Oh, also, the author forgot to mention that Fang's real name was Fleance. (His parents were big fans of Shakespeare). But no one called him Fleance, because if they did then they would end up in hospital. Or something. Fang was very dark, very troubled, and very emo.

One day, Max couldn't stand it anymore.

"Why are you so emo!? My dad beats me up, and I'm not even as emo as you!" she yelled. Fang sobbed, tears coming to his beautiful coal coloured eyes.

"My parents don't want me. I have a terrible foster home! Bleaugh whaaahsbirwwe!~!" he wailed. Max squeezed him in a hug.

"Aw, poor thing. It's okay, I love you!" and then they kissed.

EMO-LY. IT WAS SO CUTE.

They left high school early, got married, and went to live in Paraguay. Angel, Nudge, Iggy and Gazzy, (or Angelica, Nancy, Ian and Greg) opted to transfer to a school in Missouri. Ella became a tramp and BFF's with Lissa.

Jeb died, and stuff. The author thought this AU was so totally amazing and wonderful that she posted it expecting 200584349230210 reviews. She received only flames.

**A/N; **

**Yeah, not as good as I hoped. I am so tired and have a headache, so I'm sorry if it sucks :(**

**But, good news! This next chapter has been a long time coming... truth or dare. I need dares/truths for the next chapter. Make them as stupid, random, and as OOC as you can. Whoever suggests the best gets a big mention. Thanks guys!**

**-Rain, out. **


	16. Truth or Dare

**A/N;**

**I got lots of T or D suggestions :)  
Can't decide which ones I like best, so I'd like to thank all of you! Although, Natvv deserves special mention because I cracked up laughing reading her review. Thanks, Natvv! :D  
(Look for your name) **_**Read4urlife, Poisonrose22.5, Silverbird121, babiixilyx3, Charlie Ride, Midge 1012, Rowena of Naxen, 7andthefluff, Reiko Rose, MoonStarWithWings, Natvv, AmyQueen95. **_

**Thanks guys! :D **

**Oh, and also! Celiacangel8... I don't get some parts of your review. Is it good that I'm suffering from sarcasm? And what double messages am I sending? Please explain? :D **

**El: Are you over your little psycho rant from earlier?**

**Me: Yes, thank you. **

**El: Rain was a little upset with one of her teachers...**

**Me: I strongly dislike him!**

**El: And was not subtle about it...**

**Me: I was frustrated! **

**El: I understand. Luckily you weren't that bad verbally, but I, coming from your mind, suffered the bad stuff. So it was unfortunate for me. **

**Me: Let's not get into this now... I'm trying to write a funny chapter, here! **

**El: Let the creative *ahem* juices flow. And you own nothing.**

**Me: Right you are, my good friend.**

**Reviews=love. **

Nudge and Angel were whispering at the table, which was never a good thing. Everyone just had to assume they were whispering about some form of mischief, or something. Anyway. Max walked over to the table, smiling at them as she kissing Angel's forehead in the author's attempt to make Max more in-character. Oh well.

"Hey Max, can we play truth or dare?" Angel asked. Max shook her head.

_20 minutes later_

"Hey Max, can we play truth or dare? Please please please please please?" Nudge asked.

"No." Max replied.

_10 minutes later_

"Max, can we-"

"No, guys."

_5 minutes later_

"Max-"

"NO!"

Angel began to cry, so Max finally said yes. The flock members were brought into it because that's the way the author wanted it to be. No questions asked.

"Why are we playing Truth or Dare?" Fang asked, pausing mid-razor swipe. Max shrugged.

"Because Angel and Nudge are annoying persistent, apparently." She replied. "Now let's play."

"Iggy, like, Truth or Dare, like, like!" Nudge giggled. Iggy rolled his eyes that were sightless, which everyone felt like they had to keep pointing out. Or something, anyway.

"Dare, cos I'm a MANLY MAN." He boasted, puffing out his chest.

"Oooh! I dare you to go to the house across the street and ask whoever answers the door on a date!" Nudge said. Iggy shrugged.

"Okay." He obviously couldn't see a seething Ella sitting beside him, because he was, you know, _blind_.

He walked across the street, and had to ask an 89 year old lady on a date for the following Friday. Iggy planned to cancel. Anyway, his dare was unimportant.

"Fang, truth or dare?" he asked deviously. Fang shrugged.

"Dare."

"Fang I totally dare you to eff Max. Hard." Max slapped Iggy hard and he cried, running out of the room. Fang did not eff Max, hard or not. The dare was stricken from the record, or whatever. Anyway.

"Okay... Max truth or dare?"

"DARE!" Max screamed, in her in-your-face leaderly way of hers.

"Max !! I dare you to call up Ari even though it's totally illogical for him to have a phone and you to know the number but anyways you have to tell him that you're in deep passionate love with him even though he's your half brother and that's seriously gross but let's just forget you're related and get Fang jealous!" Iggy randomly reappeared. Max shrugged, she could do that.

She rang Ari, who randomly came back to life, and confessed her undying love to him. Fang got all angry and stuff, like he was 'sposed to. Anyway, Ari was cut deep, but that wasn't important.

"Iggy truth or dare?" Max asked. Fearing for his safety, Iggy picked truth.

"Do you like, totally looooooooooooove Ella?" Nudge cut in with a smirk. Iggy gulped.

"Yeah..." he muttered. Ella gasped, and fainted. Then she woke up.

"OMG I LOVE YOU TOO!" They ran away, and no one ever heard of them again. Dr. Martinez didn't really care, she loved Max best anyway.

"Gazzy truth or dare?" Angel asked.

"Truth."

"How often do you fart and pass it off as Total?" she giggled. Gazzy grinned.

"I lost count at 72." He laughed. Total huffed indignantly from the next room. He was ignored.

"Fang truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"OH EM GEEZ DO YOU LIEK TOTALLY LURRRRRRVEZ MAX!?"

The author did not know who asked that...

"No." Fang scowled. Max tried not to look like she was bleeding slowly and painfully from the inside, her heart shattering into 20345 pieces, her feelings of betrayal slowly consuming her like a crashing tidal wave of deceit and heartbreak and pain and soreness and-

"I dare you to kiss Max!" Nudge screamed.

"But you didn't ask-"

"KISS HER!" Fang shrugged, and kissed Max. Max felt like she was swimming in a vat of strawberry ice-cream on a hot summer's day. Which probably would not feel all that nice, but Max is a weird kid.

"I loooooooooooove you, Fang." She murmured breathlessly, because she was asthmatic.

"I loooooooooooove you, Max." Fang replied.

"But you said-"

"I was lying, afraid to admit my undying feelings for you, even though I have done it like 5 times in the books... but that doesn't matter. ILY!"

"ILY2!"

"YAY!"

Nudge and Angel high-fived, because that was their plan all along. Or something.

**A/N;**

**Not as good as I hoped, but whatever. Hope you guys enjoy it at least. :)**

**I had an idea of what I was gonna do next, but I forgot. Hopefully I'll remember, or you could just suggest something.**

**:D **


	17. Bitchy Brissa in a nutshell

**A/N;**

**Sorry for the slow updates! :(**

**I'm suffering a slow death by assignments. Now, this goes out to Iggy4ever, because I like her idea and it'll be fun to write.**

**I know I've killed Brissa (for those who don't remember, it's; BRIGID and LISSA/LISA (I forget how to spell her name, and she's not important enough for me to go and look it up) combined) before, but that doesn't matter. Woah, how many brackets did I just use? Sub-brackets! Baha. **

**Anyway,**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'll have a lot more free time to update soon (YAY), and I'm hoping to get the comment chapter of TTA up tomorrow (I will be finished all forms of assessment tomorrow afternoon- cheer with me!) *Everyone cheers wildly... well, in Rain's imagination they do...* **

**Also, I apologise for overuse of the word 'biznatch'. I love that word. And 'beeeeyatch, or biiiiiiiiiiatch, or anything of that nature.**

**Also AGAIN, I mean no disrespect to those who have red hair. One of my best friends has red hair, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone by using the word 'ranga'. I'm just being stereotypical, and insulting Brissa in any way I can. **

**Stay cool, you cooler-than-ice-cubes readers :) **

Brissa was a bitch. A biznatch. A beeeeeyatch, and all other variations of the word. All in all, she was not a very nice young individual of the female kind.

She had ranga hair, and thought she was the sexiest chick in the school, if not the WORLD. And of course, she was dating the hottest guy EVAHZ. And everyone was totally jealous, or something.

"Bitch." A girl with brown and blonde hair muttered as Brissa strutted down the hallways, swinging her PERFECTLY CURVED HIPS and 'accidentally' dropping pencils, bending down slowly to get them as she passed cute guys, coincidently showing off her body. What a sl- I mean, never mind.

"Like, What did you just, like, say, like?" Brissa hissed, 'cos she was a biznatch. The girl shrugged.

"Nothing, biznatch."

"Oh, like, okay! I thought you'd like, called me like, something bad or something, like." Brissa then strutted away, looking rather like a peacock. The blonde and brown haired girl rolled her eyes.

Later, Brissa came across a girl wearing a really pretty pink shirt, that was so pretty that Brissa thought she'd 'diss' it, just to make herself feel better.

"That shirt like, sucks! LIKE, totally!" she screeched, pointing and cackling wildly, 'cos she was a biznatch. The girl with the pink shirt stopped her incessant flow of words and burst into tears.

"It's not that bad is it? I thought it was really cute and stuff and it looked awesome in the store and, and... WAAAH!"

"That's like, because you have like, no like, fashion sense at all, like." Brissa said airily, stalking away. The girl ran away, sobbing. Brissa smirked, making a mental note to buy the shirt next time she saw it, 'cos she was a biznatch.

In English, the teacher asked her a question about the difference between metaphors and similes, and Brissa smiled sweetly, before answering;

"What's like, the difference between like, you and a toad covered in like, mud? The toad would like, win a like, beauty pageant, like. If like, only you two were competing, like." The teacher burst into tears and ran away. Brissa flicked her hair, succeeding in hitting the girl behind her in the eye, 'cos she was a biznatch. It wasn't really even that great a comback, but Brissa was a bitch and queen bee, so it WAS, no arguments. Okay? Okay.

That lunchtime, a boy with strawberry blonde hair and light blue eyes approached her table. She gave him a disdainful look, 'cos she was a biznatch.

"What do you want?" she snapped.

"Will y-y-you g-g-go out with m-m-m-me?" he stuttered. Brissa smirked.

"Like, sure!"

"R-really?" the boy looked hopeful.

"Like, no! Totally, like, gross! Get lost, like!" the boy ran away, nurturing his broken pride. Brissa laughed, and it sounded something like this;

"Har-har-snort-snort-hahaha-snort-hehehe-hahahahaha-SNORT-harhar!"

She had a funny sounding laugh, and stuff, 'cos she was a biznatch, and stuff.

Then, her drop-dead gorgeous boyfriend walked over to kiss her passionately, or something. Time slowed down while they exchanged spit, his long dark hair covering his closed eyes. Brissa giggled and snorted as they broke apart. The boy smiled, brushing back a strand of her hair and stepping backwards.

"I'm dumping you. Bye, bitch." The boy ran away, straight into the waiting arms of the blonde and brown haired girl from earlier. Brissa shrieked in horror and fell to the floor, sobbing and convulsing madly. Tears fell from her perfect eyes, smearing her makeup all over her face in a comical fashion. She began tearing at her wrists with her manicured fingernails, and ripping out her hair. No one bothered to help her, because she was a total biznatch, and stuff.

Brissa stood up, and snarled. She launched herself across the room, slapping the brown and blonde haired girl on the face. Royally pissed, the girl retaliated with a punch to the gut. Someone screamed 'catfight!!' and suddenly a huge circle had gathered around the two fighting girls.

"Fight, fight, fight, fight!" they chanted.

"Fight, fight, fight, I love CATFISHES!" someone yelled. There was silence, and Brissa and the brown-haired girl stopped fighting to stare at the blonde haired blue eyed boy who had yelled out.

"I think he means catfights..." a blonde girl who looked like his sister murmured, slowly dragging the boy away.

"FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!"

Long story short, the brown and blonde haired girl won, Brissa died, and no one attended her funeral except her parents. Because she was a biznatch, and stuff.

**A/N;**

**Poor Brissa. Not really.**

**Did you pick out all the Flock? I couldn't think of a way to put Angel and Gazzy in, thus the catfish was born. I'm gonna say catfish at the end of all my sentences tomorrow, I'll let you know how it goes next time I update this. Eg: "Good morning, CATFISH!"**

**I wrote this while I was also writing an assignment, so I'm sorry if it sucks. School is a creativity killer. :( **

**:)**

**-Rain**


	18. DUMPED!

**A/N;**

**(Apologising for the long A/N in advance)**

**I'm really happy right now.**

**I sung in front of the school today, and everyone loved it. I sang 'Time of your Life' by Green Day, my all-time fave song. Anyhoo, I did the 'catfish' thing! Here's how it went;**

**--**

**Me: Hello, catfish!**

**My friend #1: Did you just call me a catfish?**

**--**

**Me: Cool, catfish.**

**My friend #2: Stop calling me catfish!**

**--**

**Me: This is boring, catfish.**

**My friend #3: That's really annoying, stop it. **

**Me: No, catfish!**

**--**

**Me: Haha, catfish.**

**My friend #4: If you say that to me tonight on MSN, I will block you. **

**Me: Haha, catfish. **

**--**

**Me: I will not stop saying catfish, catfish!**

**Everyone: STOP IT!**

**Me: Fine!**

**Everyone: ...**

**Me: ...catfish. **

**Everyone: Ugh. **

**Eventually I stopped. Baha. **

**Also, someone said they didn't like the swearing references. If it bothers you as well, just let me know and I'll stop. I'm trying really hard not to offend anyone (hence the apologies). Thanks for all the reviews- we made past 300! Woo! I'm thinking that once I hit 400, I'll do a special chapter that is just pure stupidity. If you guys want? I'll have more free time now, so I'm all for the randomness. Ideas, please! :D **

**Goal for the week: Update Total Takes Over, and MAYBE start a sequel to "The Lists". Here's the summary that I'm gonna make up right now:**

_**Dr. Martinez thought that living with the flock would be a breeze. Even after the throbbing migraine the Lists caused her, she is determined not to give up. Maybe it's time to call in for backup...**_

**Who is the backup she calls in? I have no idea. What shall I call this sequel? I have no idea. Ideas, please? PM me or just leave it in a review :) **

**Actually, just right now I've got an idea, but I'm not gonna tell. Not at the moment, at least :) Sorry! **

**Still, I want le ideas. (: Thanks to everyone who got me to 300 reviews, and thanks to all the readers :) **

**Okay, on with the story. This has been suggested a few times, so let's roll with it, shall we?**

**CATFISH!**

Max fell to the ground, sobbing tearfully. Her whole frame shook with sadness, her mind overwhelmed with an unquenchable desire to jump off the nearest cliff, wings tucked in so she couldn't fly-

She was a little upset, as you can probably tell. But what had caused her such terrible distress?

"I hate you all! Go freaking DIE!" Max screeched hoarsely, throwing a conveniently placed pinecone at the retreating flock.

"OW!" Iggy's voice was heard in the distance. Max began sobbing again, basically going from proactive tough girl to weepy weakling in a few moments.

The flock had ditched her. For what reason? Well...

"_Max, we need to talk." Angel said seriously, grabbing Max's arm and sitting down. The flock had joined them, and they sat in a mushy circle of doom. _

"_What's going on?" Max asked. She looked around at the sad and angry faces, the clenched fists, and the... nose picking? _

"_Total, stop that!" Angel hissed. Total quickly got his paw away from his nose, and whined unhappily. _

"_Max... it's gone on too long." Iggy shook his head sadly. "We can't take it anymore."_

"_What?" Max asked, confused._

"_We think it's time for us to... go separate ways." Nudge said gently. _

"_You're dumping me!?" Max cried. _

"_It's not you, it's us." Gazzy assured her. "Really."_

"_That's the worst thing you could ever say to a girl!" Max yelled, getting to her feet and shaking her head. "This can't be happening!"_

"_Don't make this harder than it already is, Max." Angel pleaded._

"_Fang! You're not just gonna let them kick me out, are you!?" the blonde and brunette girl pleaded, clinging to Fang's leg for dear life. Fang slowly closed his eyes, which were not visible under his emo hair._

"_I'm sorry, Max. We just can't keep doing this. You've grown too clingy. We can't even look at any other mutant girls anymore, let alone talk to them. We need our space." He said. Max burst into tears, wailing miserably._

"_I can change!" she begged, "I promise I can!"_

"_It's over."_

"_I can't believe you're dumping me!" _

Come to think of it, what had she done again? Oh well, I guess it's not important. Anyways.

Max eventually got off the dirt floor after a bird crapped on her from above.

"It can't get any worse." She muttered, and then it started to rain. "Perfect."

She trudged into someone's house, and fell into a girl's bed to rest her weary feet. The girl, who was sleeping in it, screamed and her Mom called the police. After doing 6 months hard labour for some reason the author can't be bothered thinking about, Max was released, dyed her hair black and went around flying into trees in her spare time. Which was like, 99.98% of the time, or something. Anyway.

Years passed, and Max didn't get better. She wrote depressing poetry in the dirt with a stick at night, and dreamed of the flock who had left her behind for no apparent reason whatsoever. Sometimes, she ranted to herself.

"I'm not clingy! How dare they say that I am! I'm a great leader, a great leader!" she cried, rocking back and forth, breathing heavily.

"I think you're going insane, Max." She answered herself.

"I am not! You're the crazy one! I'm not crazy!" her eye twitched, and she began slapping herself violently. "Shut up!"

...Max did not have a happy relationship with herself.

_Meanwhile, with the flock..._

"Hey Fang?" Gazzy asked with a yawn as they cruised through the air.

"Yeah?" Fang answered.

"Why'd we dump Max?" he asked. Fang looked at the others for an answer. They all shrugged.

"Huh. I guess I don't actually know. It was Angel's idea, wasn't it?" They looked to the little blonde girl. Her eyes widened.

"Getting rid of her wasn't a secret plan so that I could become leader! What are you talking about!!?" she cried, her eyes shifting nervously.

"Um... what?"

"Nothing, nothing." Angel sighed, relieved.

"We should probably go find her then." Iggy shrugged.

"Yeah, probably." The flock turned around, and began flying in a random direction, hoping to find their lost leader.

_Meanwhile, with Max..._

"I. Hate. Life." She moaned, banging her head against a tree. "Those stupid preppy posers!" **(A/N; My Immortal reference. Gosh, thanks to Saint for alerting me to it. What a laugh!) **

"Who?" a voice asked, and Max looked up to see Fang standing there, eyebrows raised.

"FANG!" Max screamed, tackling him to the ground and kissing his eyes, cheek and nose, and eventually his lips. "OH MY GOD!" Then, she remembered that she hated him with a burning passion that was burning hotter than a thousand suns and-

She was p.o'ed, as you can probably tell.

She pushed him away and stood up, crossing her arms angrily. "What are you doing here?"

"Please take us back, Max! We were stupid, and we're sorry." Nudge pleaded, tears filling her eyes. Max snarled angrily.

"What's changed?" she demanded, "How do I know you won't break my heart again?"

"Just take us back, we love you, don't you get it!?" Gazzy cried.

"Please, Max." Iggy added.

"Please, we just want to be with you again. We love you, please, come back." Fang said, stepping forward. Max smiled.

"Aw, ILY too!" They all hugged, and flew off into the sunset.

_Meanwhile, with Jeb and Ari..._

"Still getting those random jabs of pain, Dad?" Ari asked as they sat in "The White Room", the room where Rain stores all the characters from this story that aren't important for the real chapter. Jeb nodded, then winced.

"Ow!"

"You okay?"

"OW! Yeah, I guess so. I just wish I OW knew OW what was OW causing them OW!" Jeb sighed.

"Pain sucks." Ari said wisely, driving a toy car over his legs.

"Yeah, OW!"

_Meanwhile, with the flock + Max... _

"MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Max cackled, stabbing the Jeb doll again and again.

"I think breaking up with her made her insane..." Iggy whispered.

"Eh, just go with it." Fang shrugged.

**A/N;**

**:)**


	19. Switching POV's

**A/N;**

**#1; 'The Lists' sequel news. **

**Well, not a lot of people told me they wanted the sequel done, but I'mma do it anyway! I think I might call it 'Calling in Backup' or just 'The Backup'. What do you think?**

**#2; TWITTER.**

**Yeah, I'm on twitter. User; rainbowstrike24. Follow me? :)**

**#3; Catfish. **

**#4; Yeah, this is probs extreme OOC in some parts. Eh. I don't get why people need to switch POV's randomly, like once, twice or even three times is okay, but sometimes it's just over the top. It's like;**

"**We kissed." –Max.  
"We kissed." –Fang.  
"They kissed." –Iggy.  
"OMG THEY KISSED SO CUTE!" –Nudge. **

**You get the idea. **

**R & R :D **

_Max POV_

I really love Fang. He's like the sun, 'cos he's so hot, you know? But he's so dark and mysterious, like the night. I'm such a poet. It's a good quality, when you're the LEADER.

_Fang POV_

Damn Max looks hot in that tattered pair of jeans.

_Iggy POV_

I hate being blind. Ow- tree... damn it!

_Nudge POV_

Blah blah blah blah SHOPPING blah blah PINK blah blah blah JO BROS blah blah blah BLAH.

_Gazzy POV_

Farts.

_Angel POV_

I love being cute. I'm so good at it.

_Max POV_

Fang's lips touched mine gently, and then we were making out, _sexily_. I love him, he's such a good kisser. Damn he's hot.

_Fang POV_

I hope I'm doing this right... Damn, she's a sexy bitch, a sexy bitch.

_Iggy POV_

The undeniable sound of two people exchanging spit just filled my ears. Gross, just gross. Ow! Damn trees!

"Get a room! Ow." I rubbed the spot where the pinecone hit me.

_Nudge POV_

OMG MAX AND FANG ARE SO CUTE I CAN SEE THEM KISSING BUT I'M NOT A WEIRDO OR ANYTHING FOR WATCHING THEM KISS AM I? I DONT THINK I AM SO WHATEVER! OOOOOH, THEY'RE IN LOOOOVE.

_Gazzy POV_

Ew, is Fang gonna get cooties?

_Angel POV_

Their thoughts are DEFINITELY not safe for my 6 year old mind, probably private, and Max and Fang probably don't want me to know what's going on in their minds, but I shall mind-rape them anyway! Muahahaha!

_Max POV_

We took off flying into the sky, me and Fang holding hands. It was the perfect scene- hand in hand with the Fangster, soaring into the deep orange sunset with the summer breeze causally caressing our feathers, lifting us up carefully. Iggy, Nudge, Angel and Total were choking somewhere in the background due to one of Gazzy's 'releases', but that didn't matter.

_Fang POV_

I'm holding her hand. I'm so smooth. Maybe if I lean closer real quick I can get some more lip action without our flapping wings getting in the way...

_Iggy POV_

One day, I'm going to start my own bakery, where my specialty will be a pie filled with explosives.

_Nudge POV_

Hannah Montana is so cool. Oh, look at Max and Fang kiss! SQUEAL! They're so cute!

_Gazzy POV_

I should kick Jeb in the shins next time I see him. Then I'll run away. Muaha.

_Angel POV_

Everyone's thoughts are so juicy. It's like mind-Twitter, and I'm constantly being updated! Bahahaha!

_Max POV_

I hate Jeb. I love my Mom. I love the Flock. I hate the school. I love Ella. I love Fang. I hate red-haired women who Fang might possibly be attracted. I hate girls who comment on Fang's blog saying he's a total babe.

_Fang's POV_

I love it when Max get's jealous.

_Iggy POV_

I love being a total sexist pig.

_Nudge POV_

I love being so fashion-conscious. I hate bad outfits.

_Gazzy POV_

I love blowing things up.

_Angel POV_

I love-

Rain, this is getting pointless, can we end this now?

_-Rain appears, nods, disappears-_

**A/N;**

**A short one, I'm sorry :(**

**I'm updating TTO tonight, no matter what I say. Will start the Lists sequel the day after tomorrow. Will update soon. Will tweet more. Will start Vampire Academy Series. Will start Immortal Instruments series. Will chill with friends. Will forever love reviews! :D **


	20. Kidnapped, ft Krill!

**A/N;**

**Happy sexily day! Well, when I started this A/N it was sexily day, but I have tons on today so I'll post it later. We had a sexily-a-thon on twitter, it was awesome :D Those that I know of that participated were- Kara from FlockUpdates, Vera A, Skittles (Fangalicious08) & Saint (St. Fang of Boredom). For those of you that I didn't know participated and did, awesome job! Kara says next one is October 9, so join in and say 'sexily' a lot! You're bloody awesome if you do :) **

**Also, because I haven't heard anyone say 'Krill yum yum yum' in a while, this chapter features KRILL. :D **

**R & R. **

Max rubbed her eyes, stretching out and yawning. Then, she stopped. The floor, which had been gritty, dirty and covered in leaves and twigs when she went to sleep, was now cold, hard and smooth. She looked down at the silver steel, and frowned. Glancing around, she saw the walls were the same. She sighed.

"Which wack job captured me this time?" she asked tiredly, getting to her feet and snapping her wings open as she spun in a quick circle.

"Muahahahahahahahahah!" came a voice from some speakers in the corner. Max rolled her eyes. "You have been captured by the one, the only, the incredible mastermind of masterminds, the most amazing and evil genius ever known to walk the earth, whose names shall be up in lights for his greatness-"

"Cut to the chase, ugly." Max interrupted, picking some dirt from under her fingernails, "What do you want?" The voice seemed to huff in indignation.

"Well, right now, I really am _hankering_ for some pickled onions, but that's not the most pressing matter, of course. Although... no. World domination comes first. Wait- pickled onions, or World Domination? Ah, decisions... no, no, definitely World Domination."

"Moving right along..."

"Ah, yes, yes. Sorry about that. Where was I?"

"Look, I don't have all day. I just want to bust out of here with a few witty remarks leaving your ego burned to a crisp, hopefully before dinner." Max sighed, rubbing her temples.

"My ego shall beat your simpleton wit!" the voice declared. The avian girl shrugged.

"Whatever you say, speaker-voice. Just get on with it." She answered. "What do you want me to do, so I can refuse?"

"I want you to promote krill!"

"...promote what?"

"Krill!" the voice insisted, the audio crackling slightly as the speaker shoved his mouth too close to the mic.

"Krill?" Max asked incredulously, "Are you for real?"

"Of course I am! Krill fills the oceans, reaching past the billions in its enormous numbers! And, of course, it is YUM YUM YUM!" the voice cackled. "BAHAHAHAHAH! What better way to take over the world than by harnessing the power of Krill?"

"Krill is... yum yum yum?" Max asked in confusion.

"Yes! KRILL YUM YUM YUM!"

"Oh... okaaay? NEVER! I will not promote krill for evil!" Max shook her head angrily, deciding to play along.

"You will do as I say!" the voice said gleefully, and suddenly a hole opened up in the ceiling. Millions and millions of krill fell into the room, burying Max under their proclaimed yumness!

"Ahh!" she screamed.

"KRILL YUM YUM YUM!" the krill chanted in squeaky leprechaun voices, "KRILL YUM YUM YUM!"

"TAKE OVER THE WORLD! PROMOTE KRILL! YUM YUM YUM! MUAHAHAHAH!" the voice screeched. Max screamed and cried as she was swallowed up in the sea of chanting krill. She couldn't believe it- she got kidnapped a lot, but this was just crazy! Someone who wanted to take over the world using krill? That was just messed up. Taking a deep breath, Max began to swim through the little creatures until she reached the hole where all the krill had come raining in from. She climbed through it, spitting out krill and pulling them out of her ears, and began crawling through the tunnel until she found a way out.

Max found herself in a control room, a big chair facing a video image of the room she had just come from. The chair turned around, revealing-

_Jeb!_

Max gasped and stumbled backwards.

"Jeb! It- it was you? Why did you kidnap me!?" she demanded. The man smirked.

"Because Max, I. Am. Your. _Father!_"

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Oh wait- I already knew that!" Max cried. "But seriously, why'd you kidnap me?"

"Because I'm an old reject with nothing better to do with my time." Jeb shrugged. Max nodded.

"Oh, okay. Well, I'll be going now. Ta-ta Daddy dearest."

"Bye darling daughter."

They hugged, and stuff.

_Later_

"Hey Max, where you been babe?" Fang asked nonchalantly as Max landed back at camp. Max shrugged.

"Kidnapped. The usual."

"Who was it this time?"

"Jeb, and for some reason he had a crazy obsession with krill."

"Ah. How come it's never us that get's kidnapped?"

"I don't know. I guess everyone sucks but me."

**A/N;**

**Starting The Lists sequel soon. Sexily. **

**R & R.**


	21. Constant ANs

**A/N;**

**Baha, I love this idea. Kudos to Rian for suggesting this one. A/N's- they're useful at the start/end of a chapter, but littered through the middle? No, just no. **

**Enjoy, my friends :)**

**Note: The name 'Java' is the name of SimsMAX and SimsFANG's kid, on the Sims game played & controlled by Vera A. (Rock on, Vera!) **

Max was cool. **(A/N; don't you think so! I think so!)** She was in love with Fang. **(A/N; Isn't Fang totally HOT!?) **They were dating. **(A/N; Aw, so cute.)** The others in the flock were Iggy **(A/N; he's so cool- a blind baking pyro!)**, Nudge** (A/N; She totally reminds me of me, hahahahah! She always talks and is a total fashion guru and stuff, like me!)**, Gazzy **(A/N; Aw, what a little cutie! Except for when he lets off. Then it's disgusting!)**, and Angel. **(A/N; So adorable, and powerful.)**

They were totally _coral_. **(A/N; my friends will get this! Ah-haha-hahaha! I luffles you guyz lotz mwah)** And they had wings **(A/N; wouldn't it be awesome to have wings!?)**, and they flew around all the time. Sometimes Fang ate bugs, 'cos he thought they were tasty. **(A/N; totally gross!) **Max always made him wash his mouth out before they kissed **(A/N; AW! True luv!) **and Fang of course listened to her 'cos he loooooved her so much! **(A/N; :)) **

One time, Iggy decided to blow up a tree. **(A/N; What a naughty boy!) **It made a big explosion. **(A/N; It sounded like BOOM! :)) **Gazzy helped him of course. **(A/N; he's so devious!)** Splintery bits of bark flew everywhere, and one hit Fang in the eye. **(A/N; Ouch! That's gotta hurt! :))** Max kissed it better. **(A/N; So cute, right guys? Aww!) **Then they made babies. **(A/N; I won't put a lemon in here 'cos it's rated T! Hehe but you get the idea of what they were doing! ;))** They decided to name the baby Java. **(A/N; What a cute name!) **But soon they got bored of it, and social services came and took it away. **(A/N; Aw :( Poor Java!) **

Nudge decided she wanted to salvage a sunken ship in honour of pirate day! **(A/N; Happy pirate day everyone!) **They found $28201219484 worth of stuff. **(A/N; Woah how rich are they!?)** But they lost it all in Vegas, and had to go back to flying around, homeless. **(A/N; Nice job, flock! :P)** Then, Gazzy went crazy and learnt how to speak Portuguese **(A/N; I can speak Portuguese, so we match!! How cool is that!?) **Angel and Total left to explore South America **(A/N; has anyone ever been there? It's awesome!)**, and Nudge opened up a chain of fashion boutiques. **(A/N; she called it 'Nudge Styles'!)** Jeb died. **(A/N; I hate him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)**

**A/N; Wasn't that story awesome! Reviewz plz, first FF so don't flame!!1!**

**Real A/N;**

**Sorry it's short and not funny, and didn't really make sense. Hope you liked it, anyhow.. :)**


	22. Overly InCharacter

**A/N;**

**A quick chapter, 'cos I can. I felt like writing an overly in-character fic. Should be fun. **

**Anyhoo, onwards, to the chapter, and away!**

Max looked at Fang across the room, feeling quite confused and well, _angsty_ over her feelings with Fang. His long, emo hair fell across his eyes like a curtain of velvet night, his perfectly toned olive-skinned chest showing off his smex-ness as he stepped out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel.

_Argh, do I love him? Am I pretty? ANGST. Does he love me, does he think I'm pretty? ANGST. What should I do? ANGST. _Max thought to herself, very confuddled, uh, I mean confuzzled, I mean, confused. Or something. Fang flicked his hair, much like those girls in the shampoo ads.

His eyes met hers, the pinnacle of darkness starting into her deep brown eyes the colour of un-barfed chocolate, and she smiled. Of course she loved him! It was destiny, it was fate! It was- oh wait, she lost it.

And she went back to being confused. _Argh, do I love him? Am I pretty? ANGST. Does he love me, does he think I'm pretty? ANGST. What should I do? ANGST._

"What's Max doing?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Angsting over her feelings with Fang. It's all she ever does in fanfics these days." Total sighed.

--

Fang left the room to get changed. He put on a black shirt with the words _'happy happy happy'_, uh, I mean _'death emo skull blah' _written on it, a pair of black jeans, and other black accessories, such as a man-bag or something. Anyway.

He grabbed his special cutting razor, and walked into the living room, and sat in a dark corner.

"Emo emo emo blah!" he muttered as he angst. "Blah blah hate life emo blah."

"What's Fang doing?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Being emo in a corner. It's all he ever does in fanfics these days." Total sighed.

--

"That's what she said!" Iggy cried earnestly to Ella.

"Uhuh." Ella said dreamily, staring into Iggy's sightless eyes.

"I wonder if Fang will get any tonight." Iggy mused.

"_RATED T!" Rain suddenly shouted, whacking Iggy and disappearing once more. No one questioned her random appearance, 'cos she was writing the fic and all. _

"I wonder if Fang will get any CATFISH tonight." Iggy amended. Ella nodded.

"I don't know."

"Ella, are we dating?"

"I think we're doing that thing where the writer of this fic doesn't want to neglect us so they put us on the side, whereas FAX takes the main focus. It's horrendous, really."

"What?"

"I mean, sure, let's date. I LOVE YOU!" They kissed.

"What are they doing?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Iggy is making sex jokes about Max and Fang, and wondering about his feelings for Ella. It's all he ever does in fanfics these days. Ella is swooning over Iggy, showing her obsessive infatuation. It's all she ever does in fanfics these days." Total sighed.

--

"Woah, did you see that explosion!?" Gazzy cried excitedly to no one in particular. Several more loud _booms_ sounded in the distance. "OMG EXPLOSIONS!!1!!11!1!!!!"

"What is he doing?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"He's blowing stuff up. It's all he ever does in fanfics these days." Total sighed.

--

"And then I said 'no way' and she was like 'yeah!' and then I was like 'omg!' and she was like 'you know it! TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK shopping clothes! Ahh cute boys! Pre-teen goodness! Flock pink TALK TALK shoes makeup hair products BANANA KING TALK TALK blah blah CATFISH!" Nudge babbled excitedly to herself.

"What is she doing?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Talking excessively about clichéd, stereotypical pre-teen things. It's all she ever does in fanfics these days." Total sighed.

--

Angel skipped around happily, taking in the thoughts of everyone around her for kicks.

_Fang flock fang flock leader fang fang flock leader fang fang flock._ That was Max.

_Emo angst max emo blah cut emo music blah max blah._ That was Fang.

_Hot girls ella blah beach bunnies se-._ That was Iggy.

_-Insert random stream of excessive thoughts here-. _Nudge.

_Explosions food explosions blowing stuff up food food. _Definitely Gazzy.

_Iggy iggy iggy iggy iggy iggy iggy iggy. _That was Ella. What a stalker.

"Muahahah!" Angel cacked. "Bwahaha!"

"What is she doing?" Dr. Martinez asked.

"Invading the privacy of everyone around her by reading their thoughts. ALL THE TIME. It's all she does in fanfics these days." Total sighed.

--

Dr. Martinez sighed, rubbing her temples. She was doomed. The kids were doomed. THEY WERE ALL DOOMED!

They'd finally been affected by all the overly-in character fanfics out there.

Holy crap.

**A/N;**

**It's weird. In almost every fanfic I've seen, those are the typical characteristics of the characters. **

**R & R & Remember to smile. **


	23. The Overused Songfic Song

**A/N;**

**I feel like doing another chapter! So I am. :D **

**Now, the torture methods listed in the song, credit goes to;**

**The herring; Saint (St Fang of Boredom)**

**The lobster; Myself (rainbowstrike) **

**Krill Yum Yum Yum; Bell (Aleria14) **

**The Minkles; Vera (Vera Amber) **

**I can't rhyme for crap, just letting you know now.**

**-Rain**

One day, Max was listening to the radio, when a song came on.

'_Thisssss is the overused faaaaaaaaaaaaaanfiction songfic soooooonggggggggggggg'_, the singer, who sounded like a mix between Taylor Swift and a tonedeaf bucket belted out, and Max immediately perked up.

_**This is the overused songfic song,**_

_**And I'm gonna sing it all day long, **_

_**Because it's perfect for Max and Fang,**_

_**And speaks the truth, I swear it, DANG!**_

_Fang, man, what's going on?_

_You're with that bitchy Brissa but you know it's all wrong,_

_You've gotta see that Max is the girl for you, _

_Fang, man, can't you see it's true?_

_**This is the overused songfic song,**_

_**And I'm gonna sing it all day long, **_

_**Because it's perfect for Max and Fang,**_

_**And speaks the truth, I swear it, DANG!**_

_Max, man up! Tell Fang that you love him!_

_He's so clueless he has no idea,_

_I think you should whack him with a herring,_

_Or possibly sick Ziggles the dancing lobster on him till he gets his bearings, _

_Or say KRILL YUM YUM YUM till his head explodes, _

_Maybe the Minkles could lend you a helping hand in their attack mode, _

_Anything to get Fang to say 'I LOVE YOU!' _

_**This is the overused songfic song,**_

_**And I'm gonna sing it all day long, **_

_**Because it's perfect for Max and Fang,**_

_**And speaks the truth, I swear it, DANG!**_

_What makes you hang with her? _

_Max is the one that would make you purr, __**(A/N; purr?) **_

_Fang can't you see? _

_Being with Max would make you go 'squee!' _

_**This is the overused songfic song,**_

_**And I'm gonna sing it all day long, **_

_**Because it's perfect for Max and Fang,**_

_**And speaks the truth, I swear it, DANG!**_

_This song is so pointless this song has no meaning,_

_Why are you listening to it when you should be cleaning? _

_Just get out there, you know it's true,_

_Get out there and say I love you!_

Max turned off the radio as the song finished, quite stunned. For some unknown reason that she couldn't quite put her finger on, that song seemed to fit her and Fang perfectly! It was like the composer had written it just for them!

But what could possibly make her think that?

"Max, did you just hear that song on the radio?" Fang asked, suddenly standing in her doorway. Max turned, blushed purple, and nodded. "I broke up with Brissa." He crossed the room, taking her hands.

"Really?" Max leaned in, breathless.

"ILY MAX!" Fang shouted, grinning, then mashed his face against hers, completely missing her lips by a mile.

"OW! DAMMIT FANG!" Max cried, bitch-slapping him.

"I'm going back to Brissa!" Fang wailed, running away. Max shrugged, and turned the radio back on.

_This is the overused songfic song..._

**A/N;**

**Pointless and short, but eh. I've been meaning to do a songfic parody for a while. The most used one I've seen is 'You Belong with Me' by Taylor Swift. I hate it now. **

**-Rain**


	24. Hey, I'mma let you finish!

**A/N;**

**LOL, me and my friends were talking about Kanye West today, cos my friend was talking and I was randomly like 'Hey, I'mma let you finish, but-" and we all laughed. **

**It seems to me that whenever the Faxness is about to happen, someone interrupts them. Mix Amazing Clichés with making fun of Kanye West, and this is what you get. **

**-Rain**

"Max, I love you." Fang said, brushing back a strand of her brown slash blonde hair and leaning in to kiss her, "I couldn't imagine-"

"Hey, I'mma let you finish, but the kitchen is on fire!" Iggy screamed. Max sighed, pushed Fang away and went to help the blind pyro.

_Later_

"Finally, some alone time." Max sighed, grinning at the dark haired avian boy, "Now, where were we?"

"I was just going to say that I couldn't imagine life without you. I would seriously-"

"Hey, I'mma let you finish, but Angel's wrestling with the Undertaker!" Total shrieked from the living room. A _crash!_ followed. Max sighed, pushing Fang away, and went to go break up the pro-wrestling competition in the living room.

_Later_

"What's with all these rude interruptions today?" Max frowned, "_Now_, where were we?"

"I would seriously go emo without you, Max. I would-"

"Hey, I'mma let you finish, but Gazzy's about to punch Magnolia in the face!" Nudge hollered from the backyard. Max sighed, pushed Fang away and went to save the dog.

_Later_

"_Now_ we should be able to get some peace!" Max said firmly. "Okay, what were you saying?"

Fang glanced around nervously, afraid of being interrupted, before continuing. "I would seriously spend all my time flying into trees and stabbing myself in the fingers with rocks if you weren't around."

He waited. No interruptions! "So yeah, I love-"

"HEY I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT MOM JUST SLAPPED PARIS HILTON!" Ella yelled. Max growled. Fang braced himself, ready to be pushed away.

"Aren't you going to-"

"I'm tired of being interrupted by inconsiderate jerks. Let's make out."

"But your Mom, and Paris-"

"Hey I'mma let you finish, AFTER WE MAKE OUT!"

They made out, and Fang never finished his sentence.

--

"_Stop it, Kanye!"_

"_What?"_

"_Kanye's a -censored-. He's being a -censored-."_

"_Ah." _

**A/N; **

**That last little bit was a conversation between me and my friend, talking about our other friend. **

**If anyone likes Kanye West, I'm sorry. This is just my opinion, and I hope you respect mine like I respect yours. **


	25. Background Pairing

**A/N;**

**Because Vera agrees with me, here's the next chapter. **

**Eggy is always a side-thing to FAX. Ugh. Iggy and Ella need some love, too!**

**This is ultra short, I'm sorry, bwaha. **

**-Rain**

"Max, I love you. You're the air I breathe, the water I take a bath in, the sky I fly in. You mean the world to me, so let's hope you save it before it blows up." Fang breathed.

In the background, Ella and Iggy made out.

"Fang, I couldn't imagine life without you. Not even LOLcats could cheer me up if you died." Max replied earnestly.

In the background, Ella slapped Iggy.

"I know exactly what you mean!" Fang grinned exuberantly, taking Max in his arms and kissing her passionately.

In the background, Iggy was being emo in the corner and Ella was singing depressing songs about how much love sucked.

"Let's go make babies!" Max screamed. Fang shook his head.

"I don't know if I'm ready to make that commitment yet." He murmured. Max scoffed.

"You wuss! LET'S go!"

In the background, Ella and Iggy were having a heated argument about the whereabouts of Ella's favourite toy poodle. Iggy had stolen it out of spite, apparently.

Max and Fang, erm, 'confirmed their love', while in the background, Iggy made out with Ella's best friend and Ella became world famous for her song 'Love's a pain in the ass'.

In the background, Ella and Iggy made up. They made out, in the background. In the background, they ran off and eloped in Las Vegas, with an Elvis Look-a-like as their witness.

In the background, they spent the rest of their lives together and had 45.3 children, who grew up and saved the world because Max was too busy angsting over all the Fax-ness.

But no one cared, because Eggy is only a background pairing to Fax, right?

**A/N;**

**These are getting shorter. Next chapter will be longer, I promise! -grins- **


	26. Too Many Adjectives!

**A/N;**

**SQUEEEE! Almost to 500 reviews :D **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. You're all amazing and, as Vera often says, 'I luffles you all to deathykins!' **

**-giggles- **

**Ugh, did I just giggle? Somebody slap me.**

**Ziggles: -slaps- **

**Me: Thanks.**

**Now, I had a Max diary suggestion, but I've never actually read a Max has a diary fic. I've read a Fang one, which is totally awesome and is in my faves -hint hint-, but not a Max one.**

**Anyway, my point- if you suggest something and I haven't clichéd it yet, it's probably because I haven't read a story like it or I haven't read enough stories like that to cliché it well yet. **

**If that's the case, feel free to PM me and offer your expertise on the subject. I'll credit you for any and all help. This is on offer for those who REALLY REALLY want something to be clichéd, that is. Otherwise, I'll just get to it when I get to it. **

**Believe it or not, I actually **_**do**_** have a social life. -grins-**

**Okay, and thus ends the incredibly long and pointless A/N. To the chapter, and away!**

**-The ever awesome Rain, who is not as awesome as her reviewers.**

The dark sky was as dark as velvet, the twinkling stars shining like sparkly diamonds on crack. The graceful, angelic, lovely, enchanting, magnificent birdkids that looked like flying humans with wings that could fly soared effortlessly through the sky that was as dark as velvet with sparkly crack-addicted stars scattered across it's velvet-y plains of dark velvet.

"Okay guys, let's find some trees to sleep in." Max ordered in a loud, commanding, strong, powerful, imposing voice. "I'm beat." She went on to say in a tired, sleepy, weakened voice. Her brown, chestnut, hazel, wavy curls flew around her face like a light, angelic halo of light that was light-filled and angelic.

Fang, the dark, emo, silent, quiet, emo, silent, dark, mysterious, shadowy, gloomy, emo, birdkid-that-could-fly smiled at her, despite his dark, emo, silent, quiet, emo, silent, dark, mysterious, shadowy, gloomy, emo appearance.

"Good idea." He said in a quiet, monotone, tedious, dark, brooding voice. The other birdkids-that-could-fly nodded in unanimous agreement. They soared gracefully down. Did I say they were graceful?

The flock were asleep in minutes. They snored like an angelic chorus of angels that were angelic. Their snores were like the sound of the ocean, 'cos they were so angelic.

But then, -le gasp- a flock of mechanical flyboys that were mechanical!

OH NOES!

The Flyboys whirred mechanically, sounding like fighter jets except much much quieter. The flock all leapt up, ready to fight at a second's notice!

'Cos they were so cool, awesome, great, talented, wonderful, amazing, fantastic, fruity and- wait, not fruity... anyway!

Max dove into the air, swinging out with her fists and kicking out with her toes. I mean feet. Erm...

The others all followed like sheep, and eventually after hours of chaos, mayhem and destruction, they defeated the evil mechanical flyboys that were mechanical.

Max blinked with her large un-barfed chocolate coloured eyes, finding herself staring into the coal coloured, dark, angsty eyes of the emo Fang.

"I thought you were dead!" Fang cried in a very depressing manner, even though it had not been made apparent until now that Max had come close to dying. Apparently she had. Just go with it.

"I... bluegh." Max's eyes suddenly closed, and she stopped breathing.

OH NOES.

"MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!" Fang screeched/screamed/yelled/angsted/cried/sobbed/teared/ sadly. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I'm not dead you idiot!" Max cried happily/ecstatically/gleefully, "Just because I went _bleugh_, doesn't mean I _died_!"**

Fang scooped her up into his wiry, strong, bulky, muscled, toned arms, and kissed her passionately, lovingly, ferociously, and they lived happily ever after.

Somewhere in the background, the Flock died due to simultaneous expiry due to unseen expiration dates, but were brought back to life sometime in the not-too-distant future by rabid yet highly intelligent lobsters.

The end. (Of this chapter)

**A/N;**

**It **_**was**_** longer :D -grins-**

**I hate it when people over-describe. It's like, I **_**know**_** Max has brown eyes. I **_**know**_** she has browny/blonde hair. I **_**don't**_** need you to describe every single gosh-darn strand of hair on her head! **

**R & R? **


	27. The Death of Fang

**A/N;**

**OMG Only 9 more reviews!!!**

**-is happy-**

**:D:D:D:D:D:D**

**Thank you all!**

**Idea suggested by St Fang of Boredom. On with the chapter :D **

The flock were flying around aimlessly, doing whatever it is they usually did. Max was screaming randomly at the Voice, Fang was flying into trees having had all the sharp items taken off him, Gazzy was releasing gas, Angel was working on her World Domination plans, Iggy was blowing crap up, and Nudge was talking non-stop.

When suddenly...

"Ah!" Max cried, spotting a herd of flying Erasers coming right for them! Oh noes!

They fought valiantly, kicking and punching and biting their way through the fight. Max accidentally punched Iggy's head off and he died.

No one cared.

The fight went on, but gradually the Erasers all died and the Flock flew on. Iggy miraculously came back to life because he was just awesome like that.

Suddenly, there was a groan from the back of the flying formation.

"Bleughhhhaaawwwwgroooaaaaaannnehhhhbleuh!" Fang angsted, dropping from the sky like lead.

"Max, uh, Fang is..."

"Hot? Yeah I know!" Max agreed cheerfully.

"No, he's..."

"Sexy? That too!" she grinned.

"Uh, not that, he's..."

"Drop-dead gorgeous? Emo? Black-haired? Angsty? Dark and mysterious? I know already!" Max cried, turning around and glaring at the flock.

"No- he's falling!" the miraculously not-dead Iggy shouted. Max gasped and flew down to where the Prince of Emo was still falling.

"Bleughhhhaaawwwwgroooaaaaaannnehhhhbleuh!" he moaned. "Owie!"

"I will save you!" Max screeched, grabbing his hand and yanking him upwards. Then, she gently lowered him to a conveniently placed patch of grass, and brushed his long dark hair back, tears in her eyes.

"Fang, don't die!" she sobbed. "I love you, Fangy-poo!"

"Tell my Fangirls... I'm not... gay..."** Fang murmured, and then he was gone. **(**- This is a line from the youtube series 'Naruto Abridged'. It's not mine.) **

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Max screamed, horrified. She stared slapping Fang, making his cheeks bleed. "WAKE UP YOU EMO BASTARD!"

Suddenly, he coughed, and sat up. "Cheese!" he shouted, eyes wide. "Oh, Max!" he glomped her tightly, and kissed her. "I love y-" then, he died.

"NOoooOOOOOoooooooOOOOooOO!!" Max wailed, shaking him. "Sobsobsobcrywailcrytear!"

Fang opened his eyes. "I... Max..." then he died again.

"Nooo-"

"SHUT UP!" Nudge yelled, "It's 3 in the morning!"

Max poked her tongue out at Nudge and picked Fang up. He eventually woke up and they lived happily ever after. Fang lived forever with a gaping side wound, because he had a gross disregard for his health.

He died 67 times after that night, and counting, but the FAX obsessed fangirls prevented him from getting any peace.

I guess you just can't kill characters off like you used to.

**A/N;**

**Craptacular little chapter, but eh. I'm having a wedding- Iggy is my willing groom! MG sent him to me, but I have to send him back after the wedding. **

**Iggy: Willing? **_**Willing!? **_

**Me: Eh. Check out 'The Amazing Adventures of Rain the Almighty'. Vera, MG, Kara, Skits, Lily and possibly Saint when I ask her will be attending. Thank you and goodnight. Haha. **

**R & R?**


	28. Baby Flock

**A/N;**

**Haha, 'cos Vera convinced me, here's the epic 'baby flock' cliché. Hope you enjoy. -grins-**

**Reviewers are cooler than ice cubes. Just sayin'. **

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Max wailed, banging on the doors of her cage. "Sobsobcry I need a diaper change!"

"Hello Max." Jeb said, magically appearing out of nowhere. "I seem to have forgotten that you only chose your name when I whisk you away to the E-shaped house. No matter."

"Need diaper change!" Max growled. Jeb picked her up and quickly changed the diaper.

Ew, gross.

"Look at the moon! Look at the stars! Look at the sunshine! Look at the Erasers ripping each other to shreds! Look at the Whitecoats! Look at the needles! Look at Max's bare, 4 year old butt-"

"We GET IT! You can SEE!" Fang screamed, "Shut the fnick UP already! Geez, even at four years old you're a pervert!"

"Look at the Leopleurodon!" Iggy cried. "Isn't it magical!?"

"No!" Max punched Iggy in the face. "Now _shut up!_ We get that you can see!"

"Oh, by the way, Iggy- I'm taking you away to do unspeakable things to you... erm, I mean, I'm taking you away so the Whitecoats can experiment on your eyes. Yeah, that's it..." he hoisted Iggy over his shoulder and took him out of the room.

Now for the baby fax.

"Max, you're my best friend!" Fang cried earnestly. Max smiled.

"I love you like a brother!" she replied, just as earnestly.

They hugged through the bars of the cage. NAWWWW.

Then, Iggy came back.

"I can't see!" he sobbed, pinching his eyeballs. "NOTHING!"

"Aw." Max patted Iggy's head. "Poor diddums. I mean- OH NO! THAT'S TERRIBLE!"

"Now maybe we'll get some quiet around here." Fang muttered.

"Fang! I'm taking you away to do unspeakable things to you... erm, I mean, I'm taking you away to do awful experiments on you that will cause you to become silent and an all-around emo guy."

Fang nodded, waving cheerfully to Max. "See you soon!"

A few hours later, Fang's hair had grown over his eyes and was darker than it was before. He didn't say a word for fifty-two days.

He just sat in the Emo-Cage, which was his lame version of the Bat-Cave, and was silent.

Finally, Max slapped him.

"You stupid four year old twat! Stop being emo!"

He wouldn't stop, so Max just did a 'eh, whatever' face, and left him alone.

Years went by, and Nudge, Gazzy and Angel joined the group. They all had awful things done to them which mentally scarred them for life, yada yada yada.

Max had to save them nearly every day, 'cos she was freaking AWESOME like that.

Eventually they grew up and left for the E-shaped house, where they lived happily ever after until Jeb died. Then they weren't so happy.

Oh, and Ari got eraserfied. Woops, forgot to add that in. Oh well, no one cares about Ari anyway.

**A/N;**

**A quick little update. Hope you enjoy! -grins-**


	29. The great Fax Wedding

**A/N;**

**I am soooo sorry! I've been having major writers block with all of my stories, sorry sorry sorry!**

**-cowers- **

**Here's another chapter of AC, possibly my favourite story to write, haha. I'm gonna try and update the Most Likely Awards and Total Takes Over after this.**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed :D**

**NOTE: I am NOT from New Hampshire. I really don't know much about the whole 'randomly getting married' thing, so I am GUESSING. I know this would never happen in real life, probably. So yeah, just a heads up.**

**-Rain**

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, the caterpillars were doing whatever caterpillars do, and the flock were flying through the air.

This was no normal day, however, as you could probably tell from the flock's outfits. Max was wearing a _beautiful, satin, expensive, credit-card-eating white flowery beautiful pretty lovely amazing _dress, her hair done up in an array of curls that the wind was miraculously not destroying.

Beside her, Fang was soaring gracefully like a black panther with wings (woah, where have we heard _that_ line before!?), wearing black. Of course, this was no ordinary black outfit- this was a _tuxedo_.

"I love tuxedos." Fang sighed contentedly, absently picking at the sleeve of the tux jacket thing, "They're black. It's _so_ my colour."

"And... we're _sure _he's not gay...?" Iggy whispered to Angel, who nodded.

"Fang darling," Nudge drawled, "Don't pick at your tuxedo. As wedding planner, everything must be in tip-top shape."

"Why did they let an 11 year old plan their wedding?" Gazzy muttered.

"Why are two fourteen year olds getting married?" Iggy asked.

"We're in New Hampshire! I tied my Mom to a chair and forced her to sign a parental consent thingy." Max smiled cheerfully. "It's going to be such a beautiful wedding!" she said, spontaneously bursting into tears.

"YOU'LL SMUDGE YOUR MAKEUP!" Nudge screeched, slapping her.

"Sorry." Max mumbled.

"Okay, let's drop out of the sky and into a conveniently-place chapel/church thing." Fang angsted like he usually does. "Come on."

One by one, they swooped downwards and found a church. Folding up their wings, the flock entered the church.

"We're here to get married!" Max said, randomly karate chopping the wall.

"Mhm. Go in- we've got priests on standby for weirdos like yourself." A lady said, shoving them through the door.

Max threw Fang up to the alter, straightening her dress and smiling like she was on crack. Nudge giggled behind her, her being the bridesmaid and Angel the flowergirl. Iggy muttered something about how he was surrounded by idiots and trudged up to stand by Fang. Gazzy shrugged and followed.

Beautiful wedding-type music started flowing in from the heavens- erm, I mean the old lady playing the piano, and Max started her walk down the aisle.

When suddenly...

"WE R COMIN 2 KIL U MAX!" the Erasers screamed, breaking into the church and howling angrily.

"Ah!" the flock screamed, momentarily forgetting they were kickass warriors from the planet Xa- I mean, kickass street fighters that had fought Erasers hundreds of times before.

"U CANT GT MAREED PLZ!" one of them cried, shaking his wolfy head.

"Why not?" Fang asked, puzzled.

There was silence.

"I guess this is just the author's way of setting up for angst-filled chapters where Max realises she can't ever have a family with Fang because we will always be there to HUNT YOU DOWN AND KILL YOU even though we're supposedly exterminated, and the School has been destroyed and whatnot." One Eraser nodded thoughtfully.

"Oh. Well in that case-" Max burst into tears for the second time this chapter, punching a few Erasers and flying off into the night.

"No, Max! We don't have to follow the cliché!" Fang yelled, tearing after her. Nudge flew off, screaming to herself about all her work being ruined, leaving Angel, the Gasman and Iggy standing by the alter.

"Well, I'm going to go and take over the world now." Angel announced, grabbing Total and Celeste and disappearing in a puff of pink smoke.

"I think I might go blow up Madagascar." Gazzy said decisively, "Seeya Igs."

"Bye..." Iggy waved. Suddenly, something grabbed his arm.

"We are in a chapel, and you're dressed for the occasion... wanna get married?" Ella's voice asked.

"Ella?" Iggy gaped. "Um, okay."

"Good..." the UD said, speaking through his speech-changer machine, "I'll find a priest, my sexy pyro."

With that, he wheeled away to find a priest, leaving Iggy thinking he was about to get married to Ella.

I think we learned one thing from this chapter; the UD is a sick pervert.

'Nuff said.

**A/N;**

**I haven't randomly veered off in a while, so there we go! :D Hope you enjoyed, and sorry again for my absence.**

**R & R?**


	30. SUMMARY SUX STORY PWNS LOL

**A/N;**

**My NaNo is trying to take over my life. Saint said it, and now I understand. I haven't updated in FOREVER- I'm terrible! Sorry guys, and thanks to everyone who has reviewed since I last updated. You're epic awesomeness, guys. Epicness at it's peak. **

**Anyhoosles, it annoys me when people are all like STORY IS TEH PWNZ0RS, CANT SUMMRSE SRY BUT READ AND REVIEW ANYWAY! Dude, don't tell people you can't summarise. It just makes you look stupid. **

**So therefore, this cliché chapter was born.**

**NOTE: Any spelling errors in this chapter are intentional. :D **

Max and Fang are contemplating having their 13th child, but then Fang dies and Max jumps off a cliff. CAN'T SUMMARISE FOR CRAP BUT STORY IS AWESOME PLZ READ!!1!!!11!ELEVEN!

--

Nudge decides to become a drug dealer, but gets arrested. Iggy blows up the jail and bails her out, causing a Niggy/Eggy jealous catfight of epic proportions that leads to the death of life as we know it. OMG SRY I CANT SUMMARISE STORY IS PWNAGE U SHUD READ IT LOL!

--

A girl gets sucked into the MR universe, where she grows turtle legs and a beak, then jumps off a cliff like Max 'cos she's awesome. SUMMARY SUCKS BUT STORY IS AWESMOE!

--

Total enters 'So you think you can Dance' and finishes up 2nd. All the other competitors had no legs and no arms. SUMMARY SUCKS STORY IS TEH PWNAGE PLZ PLZ READ AND REVIEW THE STORY IS AWESOME!

--

Max has to choose. The UD or Fang. Who will she choose? FAX! Summary sucks but story is good. Tell me what you think plz!

**(A/N; The story was just kinda ruined with the FAX part. If there's Fax, she obviously chooses Fang... sorry, I've seen this happen a few times and I'm like o_0) **

--

Angel decides to become an alpaca farmer, and teams up with Bill the alpaca breeder. They successfully bred 391010384932.383 alpacas per year.

**(A/N; Youtube 'Bill the Alpaca Breeder'. It's an Australian TV advert that makes me laugh.) **

--

The Gasman has gone too far. Fang is forced to stab him with a rusty spork after Gazzy destroys his precious emo razor. SUMMARY SUCKS STORY OWNS PLZ READ!

--

Iggy blows up the world. No, seriously. Summary sucks. Story is awesome. READ OR U DIE!!111!1!!!!!!

--

**A/N;**

**It's... shamefully short. Oh well, at least it's an update? Ideas would be muchly appreciated. **

**-Rain**


	31. The thing about their ages

**A/N;**

**I am a terrible person. **

**I have been neglecting my fanfics, and I am really sorry. I'm gonna pin the blame on a certain challenge... it was NaNoWriMo, but now that's finished -cheers- I'm gonna miss it though. I will be posting the NaNo story on FictionPress, so check it out if you wanna. It's kinda craptacular, what with the rushing to finish 50,000 words in 30 days and whatnot, but eh. My friend Blue's bugging me to post it -grins-**

**I'm trying to make updates faster, and I actually have a few ideas lined up for the next few clichés courtesy of Vera (Vera Amber), so thanks V! Hope your contentwatch lets you view 'em. **

**But first, I read a review today from IwriteUread, and it made me laugh. So I'm crediting IwriteUread for this cliché. Thanks! **

**-Rain**

Hi! I'm Max, and I'm like, 18! That's right, you heard me. Even though the books clearly state that I am around fourteen years of age, apparently I miraculously grew four years in a few days! So like, this story takes place right after the book I wrote, like MAX or whatever, so yeah.

I'm eighteen. Don't forget it.

Me and Fang were making out in a totally legal way, ('cos I'm 18 lol) and then we decided to go crash a nightclub, which we were totally allowed to enter 'cos we're 18 and stuff.

Inside, we spotted Gazzy, making out with some foreign Russian girl. He was 27 now!

"'Sup G's!" he called, pausing mid-kiss, "What's cracka-lackin'!?" Oh yeah, he was also a gangster now.

"MAX AND FANG!" Nudge screeched in her 87-year-old way. "HOW ARE YOU DEARIES?" she asked.

"GOOD!" Fang screamed in her ear.

"WHAT? I'M A LITTLE HARD OF HEARING!" Nudge yelled back. Two guys picked her up and threw her outside. I shrugged it off and downed another drink, 'cos I'm 18 and legal babeh!

Ahem.

Nearby, Angel was pole dancing, shaking her 21-year-old self on the dancefloor and stuff. Total was tending to his grandchildren, as he was practically 103 in dog years now.

Iggy was serving drinks at the bar, fat and balding with sweat stains showing through his singlet. His mid-life crisis got the better of him, I think. At 45, he was a terminal bachelor. I didn't care though.

Then me and Fang did it, 'cos we're legal and 18.

The end. (Of the chapter).

**A/N;**

**Crap and short, but I wanted to update **_**something**_**. Honestly people- CHECK THE BOOKS. MAX, FANG AND IGGY ARE 14ISH, ANGEL IS AROUND 6/7, GAZZY IS 8, NUDGE IS 11 AND GOD KNOWS HOW OLD TOTAL IS! **

**Seriously. **

**-Rain**


	32. The OTHER flock

**A/N;**

**I am so, so sorry. **

**Really, I am. It's been so long since I've updated anything, so I guess I owe you all an explanation. **

**For my rudely unannounced hiatus: **

**Well, first it was NaNo. Then... well... I wrote a book. I won't disclose details 'cos y'know, it's the internet, but that's the main reason it's been so long since my last update. I'm uber, UBER sorry. I'm finished now though, so I'mma make this chapter really big to make up for the long absence. **

**Secondly, what with my inspiration being poured into my book, I was kinda lacking motivation to write fanfiction. Again, sorry for that too. **

**Thirdly, my laptop crapped out on me. Still haven't gotten it back, so this is being written on my sister's laptop. **

**I know none of the above are good enough excuses, so I'll just keep saying sorry. -says sorry- Also, if you have any ideas, please let me know. Also, what should I update next? **

**NOTE: A big thank you to SilverBird121, who suggested this idea to me and asked if I was alive... which kinda made me realise I should probably update something soon. Thanks SilverBird121! :) **

**-Rain (who should be whacked for her long, unannounced hiatus. Feel free to whack me in a review if you wanna. Baha.) **

The flock were just flying around, being generically cool and whatevs.

"Yo!" Iggy called out randomly, "Fishpaste!" Max raised her eyebrows, staring at him in surprise.

"Uh, Iggy? Why 'fishpaste'?"

"Because the author wants to make an attempt at humour before the fail, cliché action kicks in." He explained with a shrug.

"Well it is in my professional opinion that the author did not succeed in her endeavours." The Gasman said, before clearing his throat and glancing around nervously, "I mean, uh, FARTS."

Max shook her head and angled her feathers downwards, a few of them randomly falling out like in the MR Manga/+Anima Manga where every time a person with wings goes flying, feathers get scattered everywhere.

Yeah, that was pointless.

Anyway, she swooped downwards and did a little flip, feeling cool. _Yeah, I'm so great._ She thought enthusiastically, _No one could ever replace me as leader. My flips are unmatchable! _

"Wow!" Angel cried, pointing at something in the distance, "Look at that random bird kid flipping through the air."

They looked, and Max's heart sank.

A random boy with blonde/brown hair flipped through the air, successfully putting Max's flips to shame. She forced a smile on her face that looked kind of like the smiles you see in horror movies on the creepy little kids so she could avoid any suspicion of her jealously. Damn him and his beautiful flips!

Behind the flying boy were five other kids, all with wings of course, varying in ages and gender. There was a tall strawberry-blonde haired girl, a tall emo-looking girl, a shorter coffee-skinned boy, a little blonde haired girl and a small blonde boy.

Together... they were... THE SECONDFLOCKRANGERS! GO, GO SECONDFLOCKRANGERS!

...That was a pointless power rangers theme song reference.

The second Flock flew closer, their mouths twisting into strange little smiles. "Hi." The blonde/brown haired leader-looking boy intoned, "I'm Maxwell. I'm the leader." Max did her best not to glare at him.

"I'm Fangette. The emo one." The dark-haired girl deadpanned. Fang raised his eyebrows. The strawberry blonde haired girl, with strangely vacant blue eyes, turned around and began speaking with her back to them.

"Hey guys. I'm Iglina, and I'm blind." Fangette turned her around so she was facing the right way, rolling her coal-black eyes. Iggy promptly fell out of the sky in shock.

"I'm Nudganto, and I like to talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk talk ta-" Iglina shoved her hand over Nudganto's mouth. Nudge gaped at him, speechless for once in her life.

"I'm the Gasgirl, or Gazetta," the little blonde-haired girl grinned, "I has a problem with mah digestive system." Gazzy coughed, looking a little weirded out.

"And I'm Anglo!" the curly-haired blonde boy snickered, "I can read your mind, yo!" Angel furrowed her eyebrows in concentration, and Anglo soon followed. They were having an epic mind war of... epic proportions.

Then they convulsed, simultaneously shrieking as their mind-war ended. Um, yeah...

"What are you doing here?" Max demanded, her hands on her hips. Maxwell shrugged.

"We were just on the run from the school, when we ran into you guys." He explained. Max narrowed her eyes at the familiar story. "Why don't I just randomly explain our whole life story for no apparent reason even though we've only just met?" both flocks nodded enthusiastically, Max having one of her bipolar mood swings.

"Sure!" she cheered.

**One Mary-sue/Gary-sue life story later... **

"So, you mean to tell me that your past is nearly exactly the same as ours, including escaping from the school and being chased by erasers and meeting Maxwell's Dad, Dr. Martinut, finding a little dog named Totella and basically going through lots of strange escapades that resemble outs in a spookily accurate way?" Max summarised, raising her eyebrows. Maxwell nodded.

"That's exactly right!" Iglina replied, scooting closer to Iggy.

"...That's... interesting..." Max frowned.

"So, we should totally join the flocks!" Maxwell suggested.

"HELLS YES!" Gazetta exclaimed. The others voiced their agreement, and soon they had formed a _**SOOPR DOOPR FLOOCK THT IS SOOOOOOO KWL. **_

And stuff. Anyway...

Max glared at Maxwell, who was slowly taking her position as leader as he flipped through the air. _Stupid show off. I bet he has a voice. And I bet he is a kickass border-line emo, too. _She thought darkly.

She snatched Fang's laptop from him and strutted off into the trees, researching everything the Second Flock had told them. Her eyes widened with each discovery until they were the size of two bowling balls. She pushed them back into her eye sockets and shook her head until they returned to normal size.

"OMG!" she announced, coming back into wherever they had decided to settle for the night. "I KNOW WHO THE SECOND FLOCK IS!"

"No need to kill the capslock key, Max." Fangette deadpanned in a monotone deadpan tone. Emoly.

"Shut up, imposter!" Max snarled. "THE SECOND FLOCK IS..."

...

....

.....

......

"What's with the dramatic pause?" Iggy asked, popping another cheeseball into his mouth.

"Ooh, cheeseballs!" Max screamed, jumping Iggy and eating up all his cheeseballs before wiping her mouth and pointing an accusing finger at Maxwell.

"THEY'RE JUST A BUNCH OF MARY SUES AND GARY SUES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she screamed, promptly chomping down on Maxwell's head.

"NOOOOO! WE'RE TOTALLY ORIGINAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he wailed. "WE SHOULD BE THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!"

"Not a chance, bitch." Fang deadpanned, holding up a can of what looked like soda.

"...What's that?" Anglo asked, his voice quivering in fear. Fang smirked emoly.

"Sue-be-gone." He replied, "Buy it now at rain-bow-strike dot com for only $3832.99!" Shaking up the can and popping the top, the Sue-be-gone sprayed all over the Second Flock.

"NOES!!!" Nudganto screamed. "NOOOOO!"

"Oh no." Fangette drawled.

"WAAH!" Anglo screeched.

"!" Gazetta chanted, releasing gas after each denial.

"WHATS GOING ON? I CAN'T SEE!!" Iglina cried.

"WE'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU DASTARDLY EVIL FIRST FLOCK!!!!!!" Maxwell ranted, right before he and the others melted into a puddle of sue-ness.

For a second, no one said anything.

"WHO WANTS TO WATCH ME FLIP?!" Max asked excitedly. "'Cos I'm the leader!"

"YEAH!!!!!"

**A/N;**

**One thing learnt from this chapter: Don't EVER be better than Max at ANYTHING. She will call you a Sue and get her henchmen to spray you with Sue-be-gone. **

**Also, the flock should never meet another flock.**

**Ever. **

**Thanks for reading, review if you please, and remember to stay out of traffic! **

**-Rain**


	33. Dylan the unexplainably hated

**A/N;**

**Trying not to make it forever between updates. -facepalm-**

**On another note, I posted a bunch of stories to FictionPress. I'm under the same name over there, so read 'em if you wanna. :) **

**Without further ado, here's the next update. **

**R & Rizzle?**

**-Rain**

"Holy guaccamoli!" Max cried. "Africa is cool."

"No, Africa's climate is quite warm, idiot. This is why I should be leader." Angel muttered under her breath. Max pretended not to hear her. They were cruising leisurely through a dense African jungle, (don't ask how it's possible, it just is, K!?!?!?!?), killing time before they were scheduled to have a bird-kid-shaped bomb dropped over them.

"I suppose we should head on over to wherever we're supposed to meet my soul mate," Max sighed, checking an imaginary watch, "I imagine he's getting kinda impatient."

"Must. Kill. Birdkid. Sexbomb." Fang seethed, whacking his head on a cobra.

"...Yeah. Anyway. Let's go!"

They went.

Dylan leant cooly against a tree, checking his cool fingernails in a cool fashion. "'Sup." He grinned sexily. Max immediately melted into a puddle of awesomesauce at the sight of him. "I'm your soul mate and stuff." He continued. "Wanna go out?"

"FOSHO!!!" Max cried. Fang growled. "I mean, uh, no! I, uh, love Fangles, and uh, um..." Dylan winked at her.

"Oh, okay. I get what you're saying. So we hook up later, when Fang isn't looking?" he asked. Max nodded breathlessly. Fang twitched, before turning and stalking off into the jungle, where he met Mogli, or however the heck you spell the Jungle Boy's name. Heh, MW says spelling for Mogli is 'Mole'. Anyway, moving on.

Just then, a big army of rabid fangirls appeared. Fear flashed in Dylan's eyes, and he gave Max a quick kiss before flying up into the sky. "They're gonna kill me, J.P! And I'm not even in the story yet!"

His cries were ignored.

The fangirls followed him through the power of fanfiction, where they poked, prodded and tore the little FAX-threatener into tiny pieces.

"BUT I'M NOT EVEN IN THE STORY YET!!" he wailed again, "WHY DO YOU ALL HATE ME!!?!?"

One of the few sane ones who had stayed on the ground, with rainbow-coloured hair and a lightning strike tattoo on her hand, 'hmm'ed thoughtfully. "I agree. It doesn't make sense. If you did something evil, like killed puppies in your spare time, then maybe I could understand the masses of fics bashing your non-in-the-story birdkid self, but meh."

"B-B-BUT I'M JUST MENTIONED IN THE BLURB! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT I ACCIDENTALLY MESS WITH FAX!" Dylan screamed. The girl shrugged.

"Messing with Fax was your fatal mistake. MR fangirls are freaking rabid, man."

The crowd of Fangirls enveloped Dylan, and he was never heard from again. The sheer amount of fanfictions written about him killed him, in the end.

Fang sauntered out of the jungle, laptop under his arm. He looked smug, and Max eyed him suspiciously.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't call an army of fangirls to annihilate Dylan, if that's what you mean."

"Sure..." Max sighed. "Wanna be soulmates again?"

"Nah bitch, you ditched me for some Gary-Sue whitecoat creation. I'm going to make out with Brissa." Fang left, and Max melted into a muddle of not-awesomesauce.

All the while, the rest of the Flock watched, for the first time thankful they were left out of the fanfic.

**A/N;**

**Quick little update, more of a rant than a parody. What did Dylan even do to make everyone hate him before FANG's release? Someone tell me, please...**

**...Unless you're a UK citizen and you've already read the book, then /don't/ tell me. Hahahaha. **

**-Rain**


	34. Everyone's pregnant! By Vera

**A/N;**

**This lovely little cliché was guest-written by...**

**VERA AMBER!**

**Thank you very much, V!**

**I was lacking inspiration for any and all of my fanfictions, so I asked Vera to guest-write this one for me. She did a fantastic job 3**

**Which brings me to my next point. If you wanna guest write, be my guest. There are a lot of clichés out there that I haven't covered yet. So, um, I guess just PM me if you want to do a cliché, with an exerpt of the cliché... and I'll pick the top 3? **

**(I've never done something like this before :D) **

**-Rain**

Max stared at the little white plastic stick that was now more a yellow color. Specifically, she stared at the smiley face on it.

Stupid smiley face.

"FAAAAAAANG!" she shrieked, running out of the bathroom. "I'M PREGGERZZZ!"

"Why are you not wearing pants?" he demanded.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" she shrieked. She sure liked shrieking. "I'M _PREGGERZZZ_!" She waved her hands around for emphasis.

Fang blinked. "You're what?"

"PREGGERZZZ!" she shrieked again.

"And that means...?"

"_PREGNANT_, FANG, THAT'S WHAT PREGGERZZZ MEANS!" Max shrieked.

Fang blinked again. "Pregnant?"

"YEAH! WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABYYY!"

"...but you're not a stork!" Fang protested. "How would _you_ know you're going to have a baby?"

"BECAUSE OF THIS!" she shrieked, thrusting the little plastic stick with the stupid smiley face on it in his face.

Fang blinked yet again. "Uh, what's that?" he asked.

"IT'S A PREGNANCY TEST!" she shrieked. "AND THE STUPID LITTLE SMILEY MEANS I'M PREGGERZZZ!"

Fang gaped. "You mean there's now a way to tell when the stork's coming? Bloody brilliant!" he exclaimed, somehow forgetting he was American and not British.

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Max shrieked. "_WE'RE HAVING A BABY!_"

Fang blinked for the millionth time. "Yeah, and?"

"Omg, Fang!" Nudge cried, running into the room. "We're Gonna Have A Baby!"

Max gaped at her. "YOU LITTLE SCHLUUUUT!" she shrieked, attempting to avoid the wrath of the censors.

"You're The Schlut!" Nudge cried. "I'm Pregnant Through Artificial Insemiwhatsit, While _You're_ Pregnant Through...Through...Through...Through_Bed_!" Nudge also attempted to avoid the wrath of the censors.

Fang blinked at Nudge. "Hey, what's with the First-Letter-Of-Every-Word-Capitol?"

"It Goes With Crying!" she cried in reply.

"I! AM! NOT! A! SCHLUT!" Max shrieked, punching Nudge.

"My Nose!" Nudge cried, slapping Max.

"THAT HURT!" Max shrieked.

Ella, who walked into the room three-point-seven-nine-four seconds ago, blinked. "Ummm, this probably isn't a good time to tell you this, but...I'm pregnalicous. And Iggy's the dad!" She exclaimed, hugging Iggy, who was sitting on the couch, staring at Max, Fang, and Nudge. Not that he could stare. Because he was blind.

Iggy turned to stare at Ella. Not that he could stare. Because he was blind.

"You Schlut!" Nudge cried, kicking Ella's ankle.

"I'm not a schlut!" Ella exclaimed. "I'm pregnalicious!"

"But You Slept With My Boyfriend!" Nudge cried. "That Makes You A Schlut!"

"Um, excuse me, but not only is he _my_ boyfriend, but Fang's the father of your kid(s)!" Ella exclaimed. "So either _you're_ the schlut, or _Fang's_ your boyfriend!"

"FANG'S _MY_ BOYFRIEND!" Max shrieked, protectively clutching Fang. In order to get a better grip, she threw the used pregnancy test out the window, and-

"**Ow!**" Dr. M, who was gardening, schlrrped. Schlrrped? Schlrrped. "**Ohmygod it's a sign!**" she schlrrped. "**I must be pregnant!**"

Everyone gaped. "NOW WE'RE _ALL_ PREGGERZZ?" Max shrieked.

"No, only the girls. The boys aren't pregnant!" Ella exclaimed.

"and i'm not pregnant!" Angel, who was currently hatin' on the shift key, said. "i can't even _get_ pregnant!"

"...you know what?" Max said,_finally_ not shrieking. "We're alllllll schluts!"

And they proceeded to have a Schluts-Only Dance Party while Iggy continued to stare. Not that he could stare. Because he was blind.

_Three Days Later..._

"Hey, Max? Why are you not wearing pants?"


	35. AN chapter of DOOM

**A/N**

**Dear all my readers. I apologise that it has been well, ages since I've updated anything. **

**I feel terrible. **

**Firstly, a quick update on my stories. I figured I'd do this on here, seeing as it's my most-read story. **

**Amazing Clichés****; Shall be updated irregularly. I have a few more updates up my sleeve. I'm not sure how few and far-between they will be, however. **

**Total Takes Over****; I won't be updating this anymore. However, seeing as it's pretty much a story with no plot whatsoever, it should be easy enough to pick up should anyone wish to continue it as their own story. So if anyone's interested in 'adopting' it, just PM me. (I think this is allowed, but I'm not too sure. Someone help me out here?) **

**The Most Likely Awards****; Dead. Gone. I lost inspiration for this one a **_**long **_**time ago. This too is up for adoption. **

**Those three are my only real multi-fic stories. I'm sorry if anyone still read them... I really am. But I'm finding it incredibly hard to write for the MR fandom at the moment. I just can't get motivated. I guess it's because to me... the books have gotten increasingly worse as they went on. Sorry, but that's just the way I feel. Maybe I'll post the occasional one-shot here and there, but... –headshake-**

**Also, school's kinda getting a bit hectic. In January, I'll be going into year 12. For Aussies, that's our final year of school. It means I won't have much time for anything but study if I want to get into the University/course I want to do to get a good career. Add school captain commitments, sport, some kind of social life and other writing, I don't have much time for fanfiction anymore.**

**I'm so sorry :( **

**Anyway, don't be alarmed! This isn't a solely-A/N chapter. **

**But that **_**is **_**today's cliché! **

**Also, I don't own anything.**

**Wow, when was the last time I disclaimed?**

**-Rain**

"ARGH!"

Max immediately went into fight mode, her fists clenching and her heart racing as she ran for the source of the scream.

"Nudge!" she gasped, "What's the matter?"

Nudge was sitting at the computer, tearing wildly at her hair. "OH NO SHE DIDN'T!1!ELEVEN!"

"Didn't _what_?" Max demanded, "And who is 'she'? TELL ME, DAMN IT! Is it a whitecoat, hell-bent on destroying me – uh, I mean, _us_?" she crossed her arms. "Even though I _am _the most important."

Nudge shook her head frantically. "She _finally _updates, and it's a _freaking _**A/N **chapter!" She wailed, tearing out her hair tufts at a time.

"An **A/N **chapter?" Max asked inquisitively, "What in the name of Fourth Hokage King of Worchester Sauce is an **A/N **chapter?"

"It's where the author posts a chapter, and everyone gets all excited for the update, only to discover the chapter is really..." Nudge gulped, pointing to the laptop screen. "An _**A/N **__chapter_."

A little hesitantly, Max leant over and peered at the screen.

**A/N**

**So liek, hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii guys! **

**You're all going to be like, totally bummed about this but...**

**I'm going on hiatus. Because like, I'm too sexy for this story anymore.**

**Maybe I'll update it. Maybe I won't. But I'mma keep you guuuueesssiiinngggg! **

**Because CHYEAH, I'm just that evil**

**Since I couldn't be bothered updating as well as posting this A/N-only chapter, how 'bout I ramble for awhile about how much you're all going to miss my FABULOUS writing.**

**You're going to miss it much. It's not even funny how much you're gonna miss it ^_^ **

**So liek, sorry and all! But I'll catch ya'll NEXT TIME.**

**On the flip-side, word to yo muther. **

**-Sexilicious Sexihead **

Max blinked. "Uh... what?"

"SHE'S GOING ON HIATUS! THA'S NOT ALLOWED! HOW CAN WE READERS BE EXPECTED TO BE SATIATED BY THIS PIECE OF _CENSOR._"

"Piece of censor?"

"Hey, at least our censors aren't as bad as 4kids."

"Point."

"NO! THE POINT IS THAT THE STORY WON'T BE UPDATED FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!111!"

"Nudge, just calm down, it'll all be okay-"

"Do you have any FRAKING IDEA how much I LOVED that story, Max? DO YOU?"

"No, but-"

"Shut the FRAK up, HCTIB! YOU HAVE NO FRAKING IDEA!"

"Nudge, what are you doing with that chainsaw? OH GOD, NUDGE! NO!"

"WHO'S NOT FREAKING UPDATING NOW, PUNK!" Nudge roared as she went at the laptop with the chainsaw, frothing at the mouth. Max screamed for help, but Nudge silenced her with a swift round-house kick to the face.

When she was finished, panting heavily and _still _foaming at the mouth, Nudge very calmly pocketed the chainsaw and grabbed the conveniently placed cell phone on the desk. She logged on to her fanfiction account.

"Let's see what else has been updated... OHMIGOSH, I LOVE THIS STORY! I BET THIS CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE SO SUPER! SPECIAL! AWESOME! IT'LL BE AMAZING, SPECTACULAR, UNBELIEVABLY MAGICAL, COOL, WONDERFUL, INCREDIBLE – wait, WHAT? _HIATUS?" _

The profanity that streamed from Nudge's mouth was so vulgar that around the world, puppies developed severe cases of puppy flu. The censors were so shocked that they simply removed the sentence altogether, jotting down a few new phrases that they'd never heard before in case they had to censor them somewhere else. Max cowered under the desk, whimpering and crying and begging for it all to be over.

_Later_

"Ohmigosh, I love this story! But I swear to God, if it's another... -"

By the end of the night the Flock unanimously agreed to _never _let Nudge read fanfiction again.

Ever.

**A/N**

**I guess I was making fun of both A/N chapter updates AND psycho fans here. :D **

**So really, I was just making fun of myself in general :)**

**Thank you for the ride, guys. It's been amazing. I can't tell you how much each and every one of you has boosted my confidence with writing. You people mean the world. Once again, thank you. **

**Until next time.**

**R & R? **


End file.
